The Winds of Change
by ipgirl
Summary: Dean makes a friend who turns out to be a demon who stabs him with a spell dagger. Cas kills the demon, but Dean has been poisoned. To save Dean Cas will go back to Hell. As he has in the past, Cas will do anything it takes to save him. Mild Destiel.
1. Chapter 1

A/N First, like everybody else here, I don't own Supernatural. The honor belongs to Eric Kripke. Second, this is my first fanfic. It could become more than a one-shot if anyone out there cares. I'm new at this and, it wasn't until I saw a lot of Destiel vids on You-Tube that I thought, hey, they might have something. Why does Cas look at Dean like he does and do everything for him? And why does Dean get so fuming mad at the angel? You only see him get that angry at Sam and people he loves. H-mmmm. Anyway, newbie at this so, please no flames. And, now, please, read and hopefully, enjoy!

The Winds of Change

Now…

Dean was stinking drunk. He and Sammy had fought the good fight and ended up with the short end of the stick too many times to count. This time wasn't any different. Sam was in the motel-from-hell room nursing his cuts and bruises. Dean asked him to accompany him, but his kid brother was back on the health food kick. Figured.

So Dean took his baby to the nearest bar, only a few miles from the motel, parked in the only available spot and cruised on in. By the time he was so drunk he thought he was seeing two of everybody, he'd gotten into a fight, won a few pool games and hit on every waitress and barmaid in the place.

Just his luck this was a country and western bar. The music playing on the old-fashioned juke box was crap. Like the song right now.

Two guys singing that sounded like night and day: one scratchy and reedy and the other smooth with a pronounced accent.

"_To all the girls I've loved before…"_

Dean wandered to the juke box; well, he _stumbled_, almost getting into another fight when he half-knocked some dude off his barstool. Dean shot him the glare that worked on everyone except Sam and Cas. Sam would back off and sulk, or maybe get surly right back. Cas would parakeet his head and study him like he was something under a heavenly microscope.

The dude raised both hands in a placating gesture and offered to buy Dean a beer, making him Dean's new best friend. "Any decent music on that thing?" Dean asked his BFF.

"You're not into C&W?" The dude was about an inch taller than Dean with dark, buzzed hair and brown eyes so dark they looked black, which gave Dean pause…but, hey, what the hell, what demon buys a hunter a beer?

Dean shook his head and the room spun. "Nope." He held up a hand and counted off his five favorite hits.

"80's fan. I like Maroon 5. Ever heard of them?"

_Maroon 5, what a pansy name for a band!_

"Can't say I have." Nor did he care to. What he wanted was, just once, to have some company, namely his Sasquatch bro here to get stinking drunk with him. He'd ganked a total of three witches today and it bothered him a little because technically witches weren't monsters, but these Twisted Sisters or Charmed Ones, or whatever the hell was vogue these days, had done some very bad things.

"Name's Chuck." Dean's new BFF was holding out a hand.

There were so many jokes he could make about the dude's name, but Dean refrained. Instead, he grinned the grin that never failed to make him look like the coolest dude ever and took one of the barstools. The bartender served them beers. After his third, Dean stopped counting. He was already buzzed to the gills, so how could drinking even more harm him? Probably Charlie Sheen said the same thing. For some reason, that struck him as funny and he laughed so hard he almost fell off his stool.

"Looks like you could use some fresh air," Chuck told him, chuckling right along with him_. A drinking buddy with a sense of humor, what are the odds?_

Dean let Chuck half carry him through the bar, out the door and exit into the parking lot. Dean found it hard to walk straight and he knew he'd blow any breath analyzer test ever devised. He'd just needed to let loose, blow off steam.

Chuck's eyes didn't light up even under the street light. "You got some weird-ass eyes, dude. Anybody ever tell you that?"

The dark eyes, under thick black brows, darkened even more, the pupils blowing out the color of the irises until his eyes swam in black. "Dean Winchester."

Even in his inebriated state, Dean knew he hadn't given the dude his real name. His hand slipped toward the gun tucked into his waistband. His reflexes were way off and now he cursed the idea of getting so drunk that his hunter's instincts were on the fritz. By the time he yanked out his gun, the demon tore it from his grasp and plunged the knife he'd been holding behind his back into Dean's shoulder.

Dean had been stabbed more times than he could count, but there was something about this wound that caused him to scream like a little girl. He stumbled back, wildly trying to find something to defend with, but nothing was available. He saw a couple come out of the bar, see him being attacked by a friggin' man with a friggin' knife and they ducked back inside. What was wrong with people? Seriously!

The demon slashed at him and Dean was only able to avoid being stabbed again because he tripped over his own feet. He sprawled on the pavement, pain shooting up into his hip. He rolled and rolled, then came to his feet, his body shaking from adrenalin and pain. Now he was even dizzier. Why did it hurt so much?

"Dean."

The gravelly voice was never more welcome. Dean put his hand up to staunch the blood leaking from his shoulder as Castiel placed a hand on the demon's forehead and fried its ass. Score one for the good guys.

Dean suddenly felt weak and he dropped to his knees. "Cas…a little help here."

Cas was immediately by his side. "Are you all right, Dean?"

"Hell, no, I'm not all right! A demon just stabbed me, and…" He raised wide, frightened eyes up to Cas' stark blue gaze. "I…don't feel so good…"

Cas caught him. Dean landed with his cheek against the warmth of the angel's chest and the strangest feeling overcame him, as if his body was being sheltered by…He swallowed hard as he saw what must be Cas' wings, furling about him, holding him. He must be hallucinating. He fought the urge to touch them as Cas gripped him under the arms. There was the sound of air being displaced and they rose from the ground. Dean stared in amazement and fear. He'd seen vids of eagles soaring, gripping their prey in their talons, wings spread wide to catch the air currents. Cas had no tail to serve as a rudder, but the angel was _flying_, holding Dean as if he weighed nothing. The great ebony wings were huge and seemed to mirror the light of the moon and stars. Dean white-knuckled it. He hated flying!

"Dean, hold on. We'll be there soon."

Even in his half drunk-half pain-induced state, Dean knew he'd never seen Cas' wings except the first time they met. And, usually the angel just zapped him somewhere with the speed of sound. Why was this taking so long? He swallowed hard as he looked down as Cas swooped past a cloud bank. Did he have to fly so high?

"Hey, Cas. I can see your wings," he drawled, wondering why he felt so light-headed.

"Just hold on, Dean." The angel's voice was intense.

Dean felt his eyelids droop. Just the sound of Cas' voice put him at ease. He let his eyes close. When he opened them, Cas was just setting down on earth and Dean was able to see his wings more clearly. They were beautiful and he felt humbled somehow, because he instinctively knew, this was something an angel, not even _his _angel, revealed to a mere man.

He frowned. Why was he thinking Cas was _his_ angel? Cas had told him once when Dean smarted off to him, that he wasn't his guardian angel, and yet, that's all the angel ever seemed to do. All Dean had to do was call and Cas appeared.

"To all the angels I've ever known," Dean was still drunk and the C&W song still clung in his mind like cobwebs.

He didn't do his usual grumbling when Cas switched from the under-arm thing to a groom's carry. He chuckled. He really was crocked.

Cas carried him to a bed and laid him down. "I need to remove your shirt, Dean."

He helped Dean sit up and gently pulled his T-shirt over his head, then, just as gently, pushed him prone on the bed. Cas tilted his head as he examined Dean.

"I'm glad you came along…" Dean sang.

"Dean, you have a fever."

Dean closed his eyes when Cas laid a hand on his forehead. Hit me with your best shot, he thought, expecting the usual healing from his angel…_dammit, the angel! _When he didn't feel any better, he opened his eyes. Cas was staring at him, awareness dawning in those cobalt blue eyes. He was always staring at him, so, nothing new there, but the intensity made Dean squirm a little.

"Why didn't you heal me, Cas?"

"I…can't." Cas examined his hands as if they offended him. "The demon must have used a spell dagger."

_Spell dagger? Sounds ominous._

"What exactly does that mean, and don't sugar coat it, Cas."

"Why would I coat anything with sugar?" Cas cocked his head as if Dean was the most fascinating speck of humanity he'd ever met. "A spell dagger can only be forged…"

"Let me guess, in the fires of Mt. Doom?"

"No, Dean. In Hell, by Satan."

"Lucifer's gunning for me? Why does that not surprise me?" Dean wiped his face. It was hot and streaming with sweat. It felt like he was floating in a hot tub without all the benefits.

"Satan and Lucifer are not one and the same."

"So, what do we do? Conjure him and have him remove the spell?"

Cas looked at Dean as if he couldn't believe he was serious. "Conjuring Satan would be a mistake, Dean."

"So, this is how I go out? Pig-stuck by a demon with Satan's letter-opener?" Dean felt his strength ebbing in an alarming way. "No friggin' way! No way am I going out like that!"

Cas put a cool hand on Dean's temple. "You need to be still. The dagger was forged in the fires of hell and stained with the blood of Satan."

"We don't have to pull a Frodo and go there, do we?" Dean could barely keep his eyes open. The lids were so heavy and puffy, they hurt. "Been there; done that," He added, his voice laced with weariness.

Cas pressed his lips to Dean's fevered ones. Dude on dude or angel on dude, but, it actually felt nice. Cas' lips were cool and he cradled Dean's face in his hands. His wings came out, forming a cocoon about Dean as Cas remained there, his lips pressing against Dean's. He opened his mouth and blew into Dean's, causing the hunter to quiver and lash out. But Dean soon acquiesced and he breathed in the angel's breath, his bare chest rising and falling. Something fell on his collar bone and Dean saw it sparkle and realized it was a tear drop. One single drop. _His _angel was crying.

There was a sound as Cas furled his wings and they disappeared into the ether. Dean sighed and Cas broke the contact, taking his lips that had grown so warm against Dean's, away. Dean wanted, with everything in his being, to pull the angel back, to encircle his waist and have him hold him because Dean knew something was terribly wrong with him. How else could he explain away his actions? They were what a dying man did. Make his peace. Say what needed to be said. Like that damned song.

"For helping me to grow. I owe a lot I know," he slurred the words of the song. His tongue was dry and it felt like his throat was closing up. And his chest was so tight…

"Cas."

"I'm here, Dean."

"Is…this it?"

"No!" Cas' voice echoed like thunder and Dean could've sworn there was a flash of lightning. "What is this Frodo you spoke of?"

"Just…a character in a movie. The ring of power can only be destroyed by the fires it was forged in. Mt. Doom…" He coughed, put a hand up to wipe his mouth and his fingers came away tinged with blood.

Cas' head tilt was almost endearing and Dean knew he was slipping into hallucination city. "Anyway…to make a long story short. Frodo was a hobbit who turned into an awesome hero by taking a journey and overcoming all odds, to return the ring to Mt. Doom."

"Dean, while I am gone, you must fight. You must fight as you have never fought before, do you understand me?" Cas leaned over so he could look Dean in the eye. "I think I was able to counteract the poison…for now. I healed the wound, so you won't bleed. I… must go."

"Hold on!" Dean winced at how hoarse he sounded and how panicky. "Cas, you're just going to leave me… like this?"

"I…have to, Dean." Cas unfurled his wings. "I have done everything because of you, Dean. I have shown you my wings, the most intimate thing an angel can do. I have abandoned my brothers, stained my grace, all…for you." He cocked his head, and added softly, "Have you never asked yourself why?"

"Because we're friends," Dean muttered. He admitted he was feeling a little better. Maybe he wouldn't croak after all.

"We are _more_ than friends." Cas seemed stung.

"Brothers," Dean amended and saw the lightning flash in the angel's eyes this time. "What do you want from me?"

Cas leaned closer until his breath fanned over Dean's face. "I want you…to live. To…_be_…" Dean could tell he wanted to say more, but for some reason it was hard for the angel to find the right words. Was Cas trying to say good-bye, because he really sucked at it.

"Personal space, Cas." When Cas drew back and sat on the corner of the bed, Dean felt bereft. "Maybe we should bring Sam and Bobby in on this."

"You're at Bobby's," Cas said and his voice held emotion like Dean had never thought possible. "Before I go, I'll fill them in."

"Go?"

"To the fires of Mt. Doom, Dean, if I have to." With one last lingering gaze that crushed all the air out of Dean's lungs, Cas turned and left the room.

Dean turned his head into the pillow and mumbled, "The winds of change are always blowing, and every time you try to stay; the winds of change continue blowing and they just carry you away."

He flipped over on his back again and gazed up at the ceiling. His wonderful buzz from the booze was gone and he felt melancholy as hell. Cas was gone…again. Damn country songs! Always talking about cheating and redneck stuff…about losing the one you love. Right now, he felt sadness overwhelm him. Cas hadn't been serious? Was his angel honestly, friggin' planning on going into Hell and duking it out with Satan?

He bolted upright, weaving, staggering, into the other room. Sam and Bobby had their heads together over his brother's laptop. They looked up and Sam rushed to his side.

"Dean!"

"Sam, where's Cas?"

"Gone," Bobby said and the look in his eyes said it all.

"CAS!" Dean paced and closed his eyes and even held his hands like he was praying. "Cas-tiel, you get your holy ass back here. Right now! I won't let you sacrifice yourself for me! Do you hear me, Cas?"

He gasped and Sam caught him as he fell. "Dean!"

_Hold on, Dean. You promised. You promised your angel you'd be here when he gets back. God, let him come back. Please._

Dean felt Sam and Bobby take his arms and legs and carry him into the bedroom. They placed him on the bed. Bobby pulled up a chair and Sam sat on the bed.

"You gotta stop him," Dean said, panting.

"Settle down, son." Bobby easily restrained Dean as he struggled to rise.

"We can't, Dean. He's already gone." Sam's big puppy dog eyes were swimming in unshed tears.

"No, he—he can't. You…don't understand…"

Sam laid a hand on Dean's arm. "I do understand, Dean. I've known for some time."

"Yeah, ya idgit," Bobby confirmed. "It's obvious to everyone but you."

"Wha-?" Dean's head was spinning. "You can't mean…"

"Yeah, macho man, I mean it." Sam wiped sweat from Dean's face with a soft cloth. "You love Cas and Cas loves you."

Dean shook his head, in major denial. "He's a dude, well, an angel, but a dude angel, and I'm into, well, _not _dudes!"

"If it was any other guy, I'd call ya gay, son," Bobby said gently. "But this thing between you and Cas, well, it's something new and you can't put any other spin on it than love."

_Lust? _Dean immediately discarded that idea. What he felt for Cas transcended that, although, that kiss—that soul-wrenching, overwhelming lip lock, breathing in Cas' breath… He felt his skin flush at the memory.

"Dean, Sam and I are working on this. We want ta give Cas any help we can." Bobby patted Dean's hand. "You hang in there, kid. You need anything, just call, okay?"

Sam reluctantly got up and followed Bobby out of the room. Dean lay in the bed, watching the ceiling spin until he closed his eyes. A tear slid out of the corner of one eye.

"You better come back to me, Cas," he said in a broken voice. "My angel…"

To be continued…?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N I don't own _Supernatural_ or the song _Calling All Angels_ or the quote from _Lord of the Rings_. I want to thank the ones who were so kind to leave me reviews and encourage me to continue this story. Thanks also for the alerts from Kayilisiase, LA Suka, StephyofRandomness, firgodes7, Jen DeClan, The Mysterious Shadow and xxemiliah. Frodo/Castiel will continue his journey.

The Winds of Change:

Chapter Two:

"Calling All Angels"

Then it's one foot then the other as you step out onto the road  
>How much weight? How much weight?<br>Then it's how long? And how far?  
>And how many times before it's too late?<p>

Calling all angels…

Now…

Castiel made his peace with a God that had deserted him, his brothers and sisters, and His creation, Man. He stared into space, unseeing, his thoughts so heavy he felt as if a yoke of lead sat upon his shoulders. His knees buckled, but he did not kneel. His Father did not deserve such devotion. He had turned his back on everything.

The weight bore on Castiel, crushing the air from his lungs as his gaze transferred to the dagger he gripped with such intensity the tendons stood out on his hands and the veins beneath his pale skin bulged. For once he'd taken off what Dean called a trench coat, but, really, it was an overcoat. He gently placed it in the Impala's trunk. He untied the tie that, no matter how hard he tried, was always crooked, folded it and put it on top of the coat. He also took off the "holy tax accountant" jacket, an echo of a smile flitting over his lips as he heard in his mind Dean's snarky description of his normal attire. He closed the trunk.

Stars pricked the sky above him and he saw a meteor flash. Humans wished when they saw one fall from the heavens. Why did they put such faith in a little chunk of flaming debris? If they could only see past the firmament to what was beyond. Heaven. He closed his eyes, tears pricking the lids, but he did not cry. Angels weren't supposed to have feelings like this. He moaned softly as he relived the moment when his parched lips had quenched their thirst upon Dean's soft mouth and breathed the breath of life into him. Had Dean known how close to death he'd been? Cas shivered, already missing the warmth of his coat, but, if he was to enter Hell and destroy the spell dagger at the source of its creation, he would need his angelic battle armor. To retrieve it meant he must return to Heaven.

There were no paved streets of gold, no recreation of the Garden of Eden, no mansions. Well, he amended, perhaps some humans lived in those concepts. When Castiel arrived in the version of Heaven he often visited, it looked like a park and a man was flying a kite in the distance. It was sad, but an angel really had no private Heaven. An angel could visit human Heavens, but an angel did not belong there. Castiel did not take time to enjoy the beautiful blue sky that stretched above him or watch the man fly the kite as he sometimes did. Time was of the essence. Dean's life was at stake.

And so Castiel knew he must humble himself, even if he must beg and plead, to his general, to Archangel Michael. He flew to The Temple of Faith and Protection, the home of legions of blue-lightning angels who traveled from the four corners of the universe to serve the Earth, a planet in travail. Bands of angels that served under the archangels of the other six rays also gathered there, where great conclaves of the angelic hosts were under the sponsorship of Michael, the Prince of the Archangels.

The temple was round, inlaid with gold, diamonds and sapphires. There were four entrances marking the twelve, three, six and nine o'clock lines of the foci, forming a square platform beneath the temple. Each entrance had a forty foot golden door, approached by forty-nine steps. Blue sapphires adorned the golden doors and the golden dome in a radial pattern. Beautiful gardens, fountains and white marble benches surrounded the temple.

The pyramid-shaped altar was made of white and blue diamonds; the color of the flame ranged from a deep sapphire blue to a pastel, almost white, shade. The seats that surrounded the altar in concentric rings accommodated thousands of angels. Two large balconies formed circular rings inside the temple, for standing room only. The flame in the center rose towards the golden dome, which was studded with blue sapphires on the outside and blue diamonds on the inside.

As Castiel walked the streets of pearl, he thought how ostentatious it all was. Michael, in all his glory and radiance, came to greet him. Castiel showed him the deference that was expected.

"Why have you come to me in this form, brother?" Michael asked. "You are considered an outcast."

"I know." Castiel dared to lift his head and stare at Michael. "I…have a favor to ask of you, brother."

Michael's laughter caused the balconies to shake. "What could I possibly do for you, Castiel? You have chosen to remain in your human vessel and you deny me mine. Why would I help you?"

"Your…" Castiel almost choked on the word. "…vessel is in danger." He quickly told Michael what had happened to Dean.

"If he dies from a dagger stained with Satan's blood," Michael mused, and lightning flashed and thunder roared from the diadem adorning his head.

"He will be unclean and you will not be able to use him for your vessel."

"I cannot go with you into Hell, brother, but I will lend you my armor and sword to fight the hordes of Hell. Michael reached up and removed the jeweled headband and placed it on Castiel. "I will allow you to do this, on one condition."

"I will _not_ bring Dean to you, brother." Castiel trembled, knowing the risk he was taking, but Michael would know if he lied.

"I don't ask that of you. I ask that you find me another vessel from his bloodline. If you do, then we will stop hunting Dean Winchester."

"Perhaps, brother, you should consider an alternative."

"What?" Michael sounded indulgent. Castiel had caught him in a good mood for the first time since the Great Flood.

"Perhaps there need not be a war between you and Lucifer."

Michael wasn't angry, but amused. "It is our destiny."

"Our Father doesn't seem to care what the outcome of this war is. I suggest you and Lucifer make peace, or at least reach an understanding."

"Our Father left me in charge of Heaven, Castiel. It is my sacred duty to follow His orders."

"Perhaps His absence means He has changed His mind. His lack of contribution, of divine presence…" Castiel stopped when Michael slashed the air with his mighty sword.

"Be careful of your words, brother. Take my armor and sword. Rescue your beloved Dean." There was a significant pause. "Yes, it has been noted, the affection you have toward him."

"He has been my charge since I rescued him from Perdition."

"He has become much, much more. Deny it on Earth, Castiel, but you cannot do so here, before me."

"Thank you, Michael." Castiel did not deny it; in his heart, he knew it was true.

"You have my permission to take any angels who are willing to help you."

Castiel bowed low. Michael snapped his fingers and Castiel was suddenly beside one of the fountains. He looked down into the crystal clear water. An image shimmered there, the fountain water rippling through it, and he was astonished. A golden cuirass rested on his hips. He turned and saw it was connected to a back piece that glinted silver. There was a bronze greave on each leg and vambraces of hardened, compressed leather, the edges fluted along the forearm. The flange on the upper forearms extended to protect his elbows. He wore a skirt of what looked like chain mail, but he knew he wasn't forged from any metal from Earth. He saw Michael's diadem upon his head, shooting rays of light, forming an aura about his head. A skull helmet concealed his dark hair and a visor glinted above the blue eyes of his mortal vessel. Michael's sword was in a golden sheath at his back, the strap crossing his chest. There were wrist blades, smaller versions of his angel blade.

Castiel was a warrior angel, and he rejoiced in his reflection. With this, he might actually be able to pull this off. He'd found out the Frodo Dean spoke of had been given a small shirt of mail made from Mithril. _"It was close-woven of many rings, as supple as linen, cold as ice, harder than steel. It shone like moonlit silver, and was studded with white gems."_ Tolkien's description had inspired Castiel and he hadn't even had to ask Michael. The general had a generous heart and Castiel had counted on that. Now, he had his Mithril.

He wondered what Dean would think of him in this garb, and he smiled, hearing the husky voice say something snide, like, "Geez, Cas, you're wearing a skirt now?"

His smile faded. When he'd told Dean he would go to Hell and destroy the dagger in the fires it was forged, he'd left out how difficult the task would be. He knew if he went alone, he would perish.

He bowed his head and sent out a call that he hoped would be answered. He was not popular among his brothers and sisters now, so he wasn't surprised when only two angels appeared. They were in their true forms, but he knew them and his heart lightened at the show of support they showed just by answering his call.

"Hello, Gabriel. Balthazar."

"Aren't you just all decked out with nowhere but Hell to go," Gabriel said in his snarky fashion. Even though he was not in a vessel, his sense of humor echoed humanity, not angelic humor. Uriel had been the funniest angel in Heaven and he was now gone.

"I need your help, brothers."

"O Resplendent One, what can we do for you?" Balthazar asked. It was a toss-up when it came to these two brothers who was the bigger assbutt.

"If Dean saw you like this…" Gabriel's form was one of pure light, but Cas could see in his mind's eye the blond eyebrows waggle suggestively.

"What do you need?" Balthazar always was the one to get straight to the point.

"I am going into Hell—"

"Again?" Gabriel said before Castiel could finish.

"Yes, again." Castiel told them his story.

"We will stay in our true forms," Gabriel said after a brief conference between him and Balthazar. "It will draw most of the demons and Hellhounds away from you and give you the opportunity in this lower form, to sneak past them."

"The problem is, I have no idea where to go. I know I must find the fires in which this dagger was created and destroy it."

"Like the ring of power." Balthazar said.

"One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them," they quoted at the same time.

"Something like that," Castiel admitted. "I have the dagger. There are demon runes on it. Can either one of you interpret them for me?"

Gabriel extended a hand that was created from pure thought. "Let me see it." After examining it, he made a small sound of disappointment. "Nothing I can decipher, bro. You need a demon."

Balthazar made a rude noise. "Not just **A** demon; you need a high level demon. Someone like…"

"Crowley!" Gabriel crowed. "He's an up-and-comer, rising fast through the ranks. Lilith makes one false step and he'll have her spot in Hell."

"Where can I find this Crowley?" Castiel was starting to worry this would take too long.

"There's a summoning spell. We'll help you set it up and be there for back-up. Right, Balthy?"

"First of all, do _not _call me that, and second, yes, anything I can do to aid you, Castiel, I will."

"We'll head to Earth and find us some vessels and meet you in South Dakota."

As much as he wanted to rush into Hell, Castiel knew he'd better listen to his brothers. Without knowing how to undo the spell on the dagger, his trip to the grisly underworld would be for nothing. Besides, he could check on Dean.

He smiled, anticipating Dean reacting to him in full angel armor. A far cry from the tax accountant the hunter expected to see.

"Thank you, brothers," he said, warmth flooding into his being at the thought that they would help him save Dean.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

A/N THANKS SO VERY MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS AND THE ALERTS. BEING NEW AT THIS, I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH GETTING THEM COULD INSPIRE ME. TO THE NEWCOMERS ZARIMROMANOFF AND DREAMLITNIGHT, THANKS FOR THE STORY ALERTS. TO YOU OUT THERE WHO CHECK OUT THIS STORY, THANKS FOR YOUR INTEREST. I WILL TRY NOT TO DISAPPOINT. I DON'T OWN SUPERNATURAL OR THE TWO SONGS' LYRICS. I WAS ON YOU-TUBE AND SAW A VID WITH THE SONG "Bring me to life" AND HAD TO INCLUDE IT. MY MOM LISTENS TO AEROSMITH AND TOLD ME ABOUT THE FALLEN ANGELS SONG. AGAIN, THANK YOU, EVERYONE! AND NOW, ON TO THE STORY…

The Winds of Change

Chapter 3:

"Bring me to life"

Now that I know what I'm without  
>you can't just leave me<br>breathe into me and make me real  
>bring me to life<p>

Now…

Dean thrashed on the bed, moaning, unable to stop. His chest was on fire and every breath he took felt like it would be his last. "Sammy!" He called out as loudly as he could, forcing the name past the lump in his throat. "Bobby!"

Both his little brother and the man he considered a stand-in father, raced into the bedroom. Sam's eyes were wide and vulnerable. Bobby's were only a little less scared.

"Water," Dean croaked.

Sam took the empty pitcher and hurried to the kitchen to refill it while Bobby fluffed Dean's pillows. Brooking no argument, the frazzled older man put a hand to Dean's forehead. By his worried expression, Dean knew it couldn't be good. When Bobby poked a thermometer in his mouth, he was certain.

"He's spiking a hunnert plus fever," Bobby said after reading the thermometer. Sam returned with the water. "Got a cotton mouth, boy?"

Dean found it so hard to talk. He felt as if he was drowning, like something slithered through his lungs, trying to punch its way out. Sam poured water into a tumbler he'd filled with ice. Dean gratefully drank the water as Sam held the straw and glass for him. "You having any luck finding anything to help Cas?" he asked after several sips.

He choked and Sam set the glass down and patted his back. "Your shirt's soaked through!"

Dean saw Sam and Bobby exchange ultra-worried looks. "Maybe we should take him to the hospital," Sam said, sliding his fingers through his disheveled hair.

"It's supernatural," Dean reminded them. "Nothing the docs can do for me." He made a gesture of dismissal. "Now, go research, bitch."

"Jerk."

"Idjit," Bobby said fondly. "You need us, you call, ya hear?"

"Yeah, old man." Dean didn't want them to worry. There was nothing they could do for him. His life depended on his angel… _CAS_, dammit!

Before he left, Sam turned on the radio so Dean could listen to some music. Dean made a face when the DJ announced an Aerosmith song was next. Just what his sensitive ears needed, he thought dismally.

He leaned over to the night stand and scooped an ice cube out of the pitcher and rubbed it over his face. He was so hot; he wouldn't have been shocked to see steam fizz off his face. Wearily, he closed his eyes and reluctantly listened to the song.

Can you hear me?  
>Can you hear me?<br>Somewhere out there  
>There's a shining light<br>And I got to be with you tonight.

"I wish you were here, Cas." He groaned, keeping it to a minimum so the Worry Twins wouldn't come running in again. "You don't need to be going to Hell for me. You've done enough for me. God, Cas! I…feel so bad."

He felt sudden warmth and Dean opened his eyes. A light filled the room, banishing every shadow. Dean wasn't afraid. He even welcomed it because, well, it was time. He was ready. This must be the white light everyone talked about, like on that Ghost Whisperer show.

The light diminished and he saw something in its radiance. A figure wearing full armor like a Roman Centurion was coming out of the light. Suddenly, fear jolted inside Dean. Michael had found him!

"Hello, Dean."

Relief washed over him. "Cas! What's with the…" He gulped, tongue-tied for perhaps the first time in his life. Cas was in full armor and Dean had to admit his angel looked damn fine. What a switch from the tax accountant. Dean drank in the sight of Cas like he'd drunk the water, but looking at Cas _like this_, slaked a different kind of thirst. Dean just could not take his eyes off the angel. He'd never seen Cas like this. The dark blue eyes shone with strength and determination instead of the usual blank stare. He looked taller and broader and…Dean ran out of superlatives. He was having trouble keeping his mouth from falling open.

"How are you feeling, Dean?"

Somehow Dean expected to hear creaks of metal and leather when Cas moved. Damn, those vambraces were killer! Sam had equipped his World of Warcraft character with them once and called Dean over to see and Dean had told him they made his warlock or whatever the hell he'd been look like a fruitcake. But, _Cas_, my God!

Dean saw Cas frown and walk over to him. The light was gone now, but rays of light shone from a golden headband on his head. The dark, wavy, tousled hair was hidden beneath a gleaming metal skull helmet. Had something like this been the inspiration for Michelangelo's sculpture of David? Only David had been nude…_Don't even go there!_

Cas glided toward him, silent as a ghost, and Dean wondered if he was delirious. The angel sat on the bed. Dean had to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, so he touched the cold metal on the back piece and let his fingers curve up Cas' back. He just wanted to make sure he was actually seeing this.

"Did you return the dagger to Mt. Doom?" He finally found his tongue, but didn't remove his hand as it slid up to Cas' shoulder.

"Not yet. I will. Don't worry, Dean."

The gravelly voice made Dean's nerves twitch and caused a flutter in his stomach. He reluctantly let his hand fall to his side.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hot." Dean blushed when Cas tilted his head. _Is that light coming out of his headband? He looks like he's got a halo!_

The frown between Cas' eyes, deepened and he laid a hand on Dean's forehead like Bobby had done earlier, but the impact was much more overwhelming. Dean's eyes widened and his lips parted. Cas was drawing close, closer. Dean could see every care, every line in the angel's features. How chapped his lips were—how full the lower lip was. How good his five o-clock shadow looked. _What the hell, dude?_

Cas captured Dean's face in his hands. "Open your mouth for me, Dean."

Dean's whole body was flushed with fever and something else he couldn't identify. Hesitantly, shivering in anticipation under the covers, he opened his mouth. Cas' mouth covered his and the angel pushed him prone on the bed. His wings were revealed and Dean felt like he was a butterfly in a chrysalis as they closed around him, blocking out everything but Cas, protecting him from the whole world.

Cas breathed into his mouth, the angel's lips softening as they joined with Dean's. Dean sighed in contentment, feeling the fever let go of his ravaged body, held at bay by the breath of life Cas imparted to him. The shoulder the dagger had pierced stopped throbbing and he relaxed into the embrace of his angel.

Cas moved back, his wings uncurling from Dean and Dean watched them as they turned to black smoke and disappeared. Cas took a seat on the bed again and held Dean's hand. He was silent, but Dean found it soothing and didn't pull away. He stayed on his back and let the comforting touch of his angel take all the pain away.

And with all we're nowhere  
>We still pay the price<br>Yeah the Devil seems to get his way  
>In downtown paradise<p>

"Aerosmith," he drawled sleepily as the radio song wound down.

"Dean, you must promise me you'll fight. I will be gone and I won't be able to help you. I will give Sam some herbs that will help keep the poison from spreading, but you must be strong." Cas' eyes seemed to pierce to Dean's soul. "Will you do that for me, Dean?"

Dean got lost in those eyes for a moment. "Of course, I'll fight, Cas. Remember me? Hunter?" Dean shifted on the bed, turning on his side so he could see Cas better. "I thought you'd already gone," Dean murmured and intertwined his fingers with Cas'. "I…don't want you to go."

"I know, Dean, but you are my charge and I must save you." The deep voice was ragged with emotion.

Cas stood up, still holding Dean's hand, leaned down and brushed his lips over Dean's temple. "I…have to go, Dean."

"I don't want you to go," Dean said obstinately, opening his eyes so he could see Cas in his angel garb one last time. It was even more magnificent if that was possible.

Cas nodded, broke contact and walked out of the room.

Dean curled up into a fetus position and pulled his pillow against his chest and hugged it. "Ever," he added in a broken voice.

Dean heard Sam's "Cas, what the _hell_? We thought you left. Man, you look…" Sammy evidently couldn't find words either.

Cas spoke in too low a register for Dean to hear. He did hear Bobby say, "Nice skirt, Spartacus."

Dean chuckled, but his mood quickly darkened. Cas was risking his life to go to Hell for him…again. His hands tightened into fists. He couldn't allow it. He couldn't lose Cas!

He sat up and swung his legs onto the floor. "Cas!" he bellowed. "No friggin' way are you doing this! We'll figure out another way."

Sam popped his head around the door jamb. "He's gone, Dean. Did you see that armor?"

"Yeah," Dean said sullenly. Weariness washed over him and he settled back in bed.

Was it selfish of him to want to be the only one to see Cas like that? Like he did in situations where he had no clue, his little voice spoke. _What's wrong with you? You're behaving like an obsessive stalker! He's mine! No touching! Cas is a dude, the little voice in his ear tells him. This must have something to do with the spell dagger. Why else would you act like this? You kissed Cas. Technically, _he_ kissed _me_, he argued with the little voice. The _two_ of you kissed, dammit! And you did nothing to stop it. Dammit, you liked it! _

No matter what he said or did, Dean couldn't erase the feel of Cas' warm lips. He touched a finger to his lips, wondering if they still held Cas' heat. A blush travelled up his neck to his face.

"_You love Cas and Cas loves you." _

From the mouth of his gargantuan baby brother, he thought, smiling cynically. Was it true? _Did_ he have feelings for Cas other than the angel being one of the family or a close friend? _He's a DUDE! _

_He's CAS, _he said, to silence his little voice_. _

_If you were a couple and someone said "how's it hanging?" you would __**both**__ have to answer!_

_**SHUT. UP! **_Dean fumed inside his head._This is Cas, and when it comes to him, everything's different. _

_Yeah, because he's a friggin' angel!_

_The rules don't apply._

Knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep, Dean punched his pillow until it was just right and cradled his face against it. If he let himself, he could imagine his cheek resting on Cas' shoulder, spooning against him, one arm draped over him.

_Okay, I'm officially a basket case. I'm lying here thinking about Cas in way I should NOT be thinking about him. It's gotta be the damn spell dagger. _But, somehow, he found that he wished it wasn't. And when he closed his eyes and slid into slumber, he saw Cas in his armor, backlit in that unearthly light. His protector…his angel.

Call my name and save me from the dark  
>(Wake me up)<br>bid my blood to run  
>(I can't wake up)<br>before I come undone  
>(Save me)<br>save me from the nothing I've become

Drowsily, Dean heard the song and the words were barbs in his heart.

"Come back to me, Cas. Please, come back to me!"

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I own nothing Supernatural or the song "Nothing Else Matters". I want to thank everyone who leaves reviews, the newbie Selene-of-the-Moon2 for the story/fave story alerts, all the ones who stop by, all the others who have alerts of any kind. I know SPN shies away from mentioning Jesus, but I do in this chapter. To me, it seemed natural for Cas to think of going to Him for help. It wasn't meant to offend anyone. And now, on to the story…

The Winds of Change

Chapter Four:

"Nothing Else Matters"

_I never opened myself this way_

_Life is ours; we live it our way_

_All these words I don't just say_

_And nothing else matters._

Now…

Castiel soared above the world at a speed that would defy any jet. He blinked into the ether dimension where Heaven and Hell existed. Hell was not under the Earth as man supposed. It was a worm hole away from Heaven, but was separated for eternity. That was the Hell Father had fashioned for the sinners. Separation from Him. What Dean lived through now was Hell on Earth.

He saw the sigils Gabriel had created from the clouds of gas and energy of the cosmos. The demon named Crowley was standing in the midst, the sigils floating around him like constellations, imprisoning him. There was no pitchfork or forked tail or horns. Crowley inhabited a human vessel, and when he spoke it was with a pleasant if snide British accent.

"Well, well, well, someone else has joined the party." Crowley's thick brows rose at Castiel's appearance. "'Ello, love. And what, pray tell, is your name?"

"Castiel."

"Angel of Thursday." Crowley pointedly looked at the watch on his wrist. "But it's only Tuesday. Tell you what, let me out of this lovely little trap you halo boys set up and…"

"Where is Satan?" Castiel interrupted.

Crowley scratched the thin thatch of dark hair he had on top of his head. "Satan? H-mmm, Satan, is it?"

Castiel drew Michael's sword. Lightning flashed from it and thunder roared.

Crowley feigned fear. "Impressive, mate, but I don't know where Satan is. Nobody's seen him in ages."

"I can make this very painful for you," Castiel warned.

"No doubt you can." Crowley looked as if he couldn't believe this was happening to him. "One of God's gladiators comes a-calling and I haven't even been given the option of serving him tea and crumpets."

"You should show me some respect," Castiel growled and hefted the sword.

"I do respect you, dear boy. I just _bloody_ don't know where Satan is!"

Castiel hadn't counted on this and he wasn't sure what to do next. If Dean was here he would just, as he put it, gank the fugly and be done with it, but Castiel suspected Crowley knew more than he was telling him.

"What do you know?"

"What's it worth?" the demon bargained.

"Your life."

"I see. You know, if you were a writer you'd be Cliff Notes instead of the Encyclopedia Britannica. Fewer words that way, eh, mate?" Crowley smiled at his joke. "How about an addendum?"

"You don't know where Satan is; therefore you are of no use to me."

"But I do know who does know." Crowley eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Who?"

"My life and my freedom," Crowley countered craftily.

"The name first." Castiel knew demons lied and he wasn't about to lose the edge he had over this one.

"Lilith."

The name filled Castiel with dread. Lilith was the demon who had sicced a Hellhound on Dean and taken him to Hell and delivered him to Alastair. She was the one demon he couldn't touch. He didn't know why, but Michael had told all the angels assigned to Earth that Lilith was off limits.

Castiel shook his head. "Another name."

Crowley shrugged. "Don't know of another. Satan doesn't run with just any crowd."

"Is he in Hell?"

"Could be. There are portions of Hell I've never even seen."

"You are of no benefit to me." Castiel raised the sword and Crowley flinched.

"Wait!" Crowley ducked and held up his hands. "We had a deal!"

"I agreed to nothing. The name you gave me is…insufficient. I _must_ find Satan!"

"What, to get him to take the spell off that handy little dagger you have?"

Cas narrowed his eyes dangerously. "What do you know about it?"

"I know Lilith is behind it. It's no secret she wants Dean Winchester dead."

"This. Will. Not. Happen."

"Take out Lilith and the spell dies with her."

"I…cannot disobey my Father." Castiel almost dropped the sword as his strength deserted him.

"Looks like Winchester's screwed. Sorry, sure he's a lovely lad. Also sorry to see Lilith, blonde little bitch that she is, triumph." Crowley looked sly. "I'd like nothing better than to see her obliterated."

Castiel tilted his head. "What is your agenda?"

"Well, with her gone, there'll be an opening in the chain of command. One I would like to fill." Crowley buffed his fingernails on his jacket.

"Why haven't _you_ killed her?" Castiel knew Crowley was trying to manipulate him into something that could only turn out badly.

Crowley made a face. "Well, she's a powerful little thing and has a lot of loyal followers."

"If I destroy the dagger…"

Crowley cut him off. "It melts away and all your troubles are over?" He shook his head. "Hardly, mate. A spell dagger is just that, a dagger with a spell placed on it by a demon. Satan used to dabble in that, but he's vanished, and I doubt it was him. No, Lilith is your culprit. She's determined to kill Dean Winchester. She put the spell on the dagger, you can pretty much take that to the bank and she has to be the one to take it off." He gave an elaborate shrug. "I hate to be the Gollum to your Frodo, but if you throw it into the pit it won't break the spell." He watched emotions wash over Castiel's face. "The spell's now in the Winchester boy, not the dagger. You _have_ heard of transference, haven't you? It's the spell caster you have to destroy, not the dagger."

Castiel felt his heart break. How could he save Dean? How could he disobey a direct order from Michael? How could he not? To lose Dean would be like losing a part of himself.

"So, are you going to let me out of here?" Crowley asked congenially.

Castiel slashed through the magical sigils with the sword. He didn't stay long enough to hear Crowley say, "Poor angel, don't you know demons lie. They also change their names upon occasion." He dusted off the lapels of his black Saville Row suit.

He snapped his fingers and a lesser demon appeared, abasing itself. "Oh, mighty Satan, what is thy bidding?"

"You sound like one of those Sith," Crowley complained. "And my name is now Crowley. Do me a favor and shadow Lilith for me and keep me apprised where she is, especially if she goes after the Winchester boys."

He held out his hand and the demon kissed the ring on his finger and disappeared. Crowley smiled. It was so Godfather-ish. The Godfather was one of his favorite movies. Especially where Michael takes out all the other mobsters and takes his father's place.

He rubbed his hands together in glee. "Well, Lilith, my girl, looks like there's a new player in the game. An angel who would do anything for his human pet."

Gabriel stepped forward in his human vessel. "Castiel won't defy Michael's orders; not even for Dean Winchester."

"Satan, the tester, that's what they used to call me. Ask good ole Job. Ask Jesus, or has he gone to Aruba with Dad?"

"Don't speak of them!" Gabriel's eyes flashed angrily.

Crowley sighed. _Testy angels. _"That was my job. Test those who God wished me to test."

"God's testing Castiel?"

Crowley nodded. "And it isn't as certain he'll obey as you think. I have the ability to see into a being's soul or grace, in his case, and he's conflicted."

"Dean's important to all angels."

"Dean has become everything to our halo boy. He's willing to march into Hell and it's not for a Heavenly cause. It's because he has feelings for Dean."

"Satan or Crowley, whatever you're calling yourself this century, does an archangel have dominion over you?"

"No, but we could strike a deal." His eyes twinkled mischievously. "What do you want?"

Gabriel shook his head. "I don't make deals with the devil," he spat. "I'll handle this on my own."

"Oh, God," Crowley said with his tongue in his cheek. "Don't your kiddies sitting on all those nice, fluffy clouds know that demons lie?" He chuckled. "We always lie."

O

Cas returned to Heaven to confront Michael. He stood proud and tall, no sign of obedience or reverence reflected in his vessel's stance. It was a warrior's posture, feet planted apart, head up, eyes of an eagle, fists clenched, wings spread wide.

"You knew I wouldn't be able to complete my task."

Michael didn't say comment on that. "You look good in my armor, brother."

"I…don't understand." Castiel cocked his head to one side, puzzled. "If Dean dies you won't have a vessel."

"You must obey my edict, Castiel. There are reasons beyond my words."

Castiel slowly shook his head. "None that make sense."

"Turn from your quest to save Dean Winchester. Lilith must not be harmed." Michael walked down the forty-nine steps and placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "I understand your feelings for this man. Jesus showed such compassion. It didn't end well for Him and it won't end well for you if you refuse to follow my orders. God left me in charge of Heaven for a purpose."

"As I recall, Jesus rose from the dead the third day."

Michael laughed. "And He has to wait until after Armageddon to rule." Michael was projecting himself in a human form and waved a hand in dismissal. "The Second Coming."

Castiel felt anger start to boil inside him. "Perhaps I should speak to Him."

Michael's countenance darkened and his eyes flashed fire. "You overstep boundaries, brother. Be careful." Michael seemed to rein in his temper and calm streamed from him now like the sun on Earth. "Castiel, I think it's time for you to turn your charge over to another and stay in Heaven…" Michael blinked, realizing Castiel was no longer there. "Castiel? CASTIEL!"

O

Castiel fled from Heaven, knowing that as he did, he might be falling from grace. But Dean was worth it, he thought as he broke through into the dimension where the hunter lived. Michael might send other angels after Castiel. Sam and Dean were protected by the Enochian sigils he'd carved into their ribs, but Bobby was fair game. Castiel hadn't returned Michael's armor or sword. He would need them if he was to kill Lilith and save Dean.

O

Dean lay in bed, his thoughts a jumbled puzzle, one of those 3-D kind with a key piece missing. That key piece was Cas. He glanced at his watch, noting the date. Cas had been gone three days. Dean's health was weakening with each passing hour. He needed Cas to give him another fix. He tried not to admit he had an ulterior motive, and that was to feel Cas' soft lips on his again.

Sam had gone to a thrift store and found a tape machine for Dean to play his music, so that was much better than having to listen to whatever the DJs considered popular these days. Dean put in Metallica and cushioned his hands under his head as he listened.

"Yeah, trust I seek and I find in you," he sang along lustily. _Like how much I trust Cas and how much he trusts me. Sammy's hiding stuff from me—probably something to do with that skank Ruby, but Cas is a stand-up guy. _ "Every day for us something new." _Something fugly this way comes, right, Cas? Stupid! I was so stupid to get drunk and end up stuck by that demon. If I hadn't, you wouldn't be risking your life for me. _Suddenly, all of the words took on a whole different meaning as he thought about Cas. "Open mind for a different view." _Different view? Does that mean it's okay to have feelings for Cas? Because I want to feel his arms around me and for him to kiss me, and not just to give me a health boost. _"And nothing else matters," he sang softly. _To Cas, nothing else matters except saving me. To me, nothing else matters than saving Cas._

"Dean."

Dean jumped and stared at his angel, still wearing full armor. Dean had never seen anything so gorgeous. _What's that saying__something about a man in uniform? Well, armor evidently rocks my world. Who knew? _Dean could tell by Cas' expression that things hadn't gone well.

"I have to get you, Sam and Bobby to a safe place."

"We can always take refuge in the safe room." Dean wasn't able to drag his eyes away from the sculpted breast plate. His fingers itched to follow the contours that looked like a killer six-pack. _Okay, dude, seriously, you've got to stop this!_

"Michael and I…" Cas paused, probably deliberating what words to choose to tell Dean the Big Bad. "…had a falling out. He doesn't share my desire to save you." Cas removed the helmet and set it on the night stand. His hair was damp and fell in disheveled locks over his forehead. He also took off the headband and gazed down at the rest of the armor as if he didn't know what to do with it.

"I take it the jaunt to Hell didn't happen." Dean found that he was glad, but the sorrow in Cas' eyes prevented him from making a sarcastic comment. "We'll think of something else." He got up and walked over to the angel and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He'd never seen Cas without sleeves and his eyes widened as he took in the sinewy biceps. His hand had landed on bare skin. Dean swallowed hard and met Cas' stare.

"How are you feeling, Dean?"

"Weak." Dean touched his chest over his heart. "Beats like a jackhammer in here."

"Do you need me to kiss you again?"

_Turn on! Yes! _"Do you really think it's necessary?"

"First, I have to get you all to safety." Cas' gaze lingered on Dean's mouth. "And, yes, it will be necessary." His hands curled into fists. "I must find Lilith and end her."

TBC… 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N I don't own Supernatural or the song used by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO TAKE THE TIME TO REVIEW. IT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY. THANKS TO NEWBS xxemiliah and kayun and hollyg20 FOR THEIR ALERTS. THANK YOU, MY TALENTED SISTER WHO DREW CAS IN HIS ARMOR AND JUST ADDED A DESTIEL. Check them out on deviantart dot com under jagespages. And I'm afraid I might've gotten carried away in this chapter because it's fluff and the plot does not evolve, but these two really needed to hash some stuff out. Hope you enjoy it. Anybody else fanning themselves at the thought of Cas in Dean's jeans and T-shirt? Cyber pie for everyone!

The Winds of Change

Chapter Five:

"My Guardian Angel"

When I see your smile  
>Tears run down my face<br>I can't replace  
>And now that I'm stronger I've figured out<p>

How this world turns cold  
>And breaks through my soul<br>And I know, I'll find deep inside me  
>I can be the one<p>

Now…

This went against everything Dean Winchester believed in or practiced. Laying low? Really? This whole thing sucked! Here he was, stuck in the new hideout that was covered with sigils to prevent angels and demons from finding them. Bobby and Sammy were using everything at their disposal to locate Lilith. Sammy had told Dean he thought it was the only way to stop her from coming after him.

As places go, the hideout wasn't bad. It was a beat-up, rambling single-story house with a garage to hide his baby, constructed over a basement, where Dean was staying. Cas had used his angel mojo and zapped all of Bobby's books and tapes and other supernatural paraphernalia there. Cas hadn't listened when Dean said he'd rather drive. No, he'd just put two fingers right smack between Dean's eyes and zapped him here. Here, being Kentucky. Cas hadn't been very forthcoming, telling them it was an abandoned horse ranch_. End of story, Dean._

Dean ran his hands through his hair and made a face as his scalp itched. Time for a shower. Bobby and Sam were in the kitchen fixing dinner and he was just supposed to lie in bed? He huffed a deep breath and stole a look around the basement. His guardian angel wasn't there. Being in such close quarters to Cas had him terribly on edge. He couldn't stop staring at him, and then he would avert his eyes when the angel turned to regard him, and he knew Cas got the wrong idea, that he didn't want him there. The trouble was, Dean wanted too much from the angel. He wanted the soulful kisses Cas gave him, breathing the breath of life into him, to be more than just resuscitation.

He jerked the covers aside. He was weak. Even though Cas helped sustain him, Dean knew he was growing weaker every day, and he also knew it was making Cas mental. Oh, of course, his brave angelic Stormtrooper didn't say anything, but Dean knew every movement, every flicker in those blue eyes, every shadow and line as they deepened on Cas' handsome face, and he knew he was the cause.

Dean cast another look around and sneaked to the adjoining bathroom. He shed his clothes and turned on the water as hot as he could make it. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror and winced. He was unshaven, eyes had bags and dark circles under them, the skin was tinged with gray and he had bed-hair. He glanced down on the tank of the toilet and saw Sammy's iPod. He wondered what kind of music his baby bro had on it and decided he'd find out. He inserted the ear buds and turned it on.

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing  
>And stars are falling all for us<br>Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
>I can show you, I'll be the one<p>

"Geez, Sammy. Chick-flick music? Seriously?" He looked at the name of the song. "My Guardian Angel by a band I've never heard of." Actually, they weren't half bad, but he'd never tell Sam. He had his bad-boy image to protect.

Dean turned off the iPod after the song finished, and stepped into the shower, enjoying the feel of the hot water. He used shampoo and washed his hair twice. He grabbed the bar of soap, closed his eyes and suds up his chest, rubbing the soap in small circles. The hot water beat on his back and he moaned softly. Water cascaded over his face. He moved the soap down, across his rock-hard abs. He was proud of his physique. He was lucky he had a high metabolism, what with all the junk food and pie he'd eaten on the road all these years.

He started to reach down to wash his legs when the shower spun and sparks danced in his vision. He felt like something pierced his organs and ripped bloody pieces from his lungs. He choked, his mouth filling with water as he tried to call out for Sam. He tried to catch the shower door to stay upright, but missed and he plummeted towards the tub, losing his footing on the slippery surface.

Strong arms came from nowhere through the gushing water and caught him from behind. He felt cold metal against his wet skin and warm breath on the back of his neck. Then, in a flash, he was in the bedroom. Coughing, heaving to catch breath that would not come, Dean felt himself losing consciousness. The world spun and his legs gave out. Only the strong arms around him held him erect. He was barely aware as he was spun around and soft, warm lips ground against his, compelling him to open his mouth. Breath was forced into his mouth and reached his laboring lungs. He gasped as he was finally able to breathe again, but held onto the body pressed against his, not willing to let the lips leave his own.

But then they were gone and he opened his eyes and stared into Cas' wide, frightened gaze. His world spun again as the angel held him, cradling Dean's wet, naked body against his. Cas was still wearing the armor and Dean could see himself in the breast plate. He looked confused and knew that was because he didn't want Cas near him while he was naked. But, paradoxically, he didn't want Cas to leave; didn't want Cas to let him go. He held onto Cas' shoulders and faked a gasp.

"You don't need any more, Dean." _Was there censorship in Cas' voice or something else?_

"I…want…" Dean couldn't finish the sentence. _Do I want it_? _Really? This is an angel. A guy angel. Why am I pining over a guy angel? But no, it's not just any angel. It's Cas. And Cas makes me feel… _He didn't want to think about how he felt; he just wanted to feel it. He wanted to revel in the emotions that coursed through him every time those cobalt eyes fastened on his. He never wanted the feelings to end when Cas held him and forced his angelic breath into Dean's lungs.

"Lay down." Cas helped Dean to the bed.

"Cas…" Dean didn't let go of Cas' shoulders.

"You're wet. I need to get a towel." Cas took Dean's hands off his shoulders. "Don't move."

"Don't…" Dean didn't want Cas to go, but the air conditioning made him shiver. The shower turned off and a moment later Cas returned with a couple of towels.

"Stay still." Cas handed Dean a towel and the hunter quickly wrapped it about his waist. Cas began rubbing the rest of Dean's body with another towel.

Dean closed his eyes. _This isn't happening_. _The towel's rough against my skin. The friction's warming my body, but I know that isn't the only reason. Cas' nearness makes me warm. No, it makes me hot. I feel like I have a fever. If I open my eyes, will he be staring at me? Are his eyes roving over my body right now? What the hell, dude! This is Cas you're talking about! He doesn't understand the boundaries of naked space._

Cas made sure Dean's body was dry. Dean had to sit down and pulled the blanket over his lap. Cas tilted his head and sat beside him on the bed. "Lean back," he said in a soft, perplexed tone. "I'll dry your hair."

Dean leaned back, flinching when the cold armor contacted his warm back, but he settled against Cas' chest without any argument, and, gradually, felt the cold metal's temperature change from his body heat. Cas took the towel and gently rubbed Dean's scalp, carding his fingers through the wet mass of his hair, pressing the towel against his head, massaging, warming Dean to his core.

Dean moaned. _Why is Cas towel-drying my hair and running his long fingers through my hair so damn exciting? If it was anyone else, I'd consider it foreplay._

"No." He pushed Cas' hands away and moved away from him, careful to keep the towel secure where it was. "I'm dry." _And too damn excited for my own good._

"How are you feeling?" Cas' eyes were dark with concern as Dean crawled into bed. The angel pulled the covers up to Dean's chin.

Dean didn't want to tell the truth. "I'm good." _I can't tell you the truth, Cas. I can't tell you that your touch sends chills through my entire body and how turned on I am right now. I'm not embarrassed by you seeing me naked either; it's not that. What I find myself wondering is if you liked what you saw. Are you attracted to me in that way, Cas? What the hell is __**with**__ me?_

Fingers snapped in front of his eyes and they focused. He met Cas' concerned look. "Dean, you didn't hear a word I just said."

Dean experienced a full body blush. "Sorry, Cas."

Cas sighed. "No apology is necessary. You were close to death. I should apologize to you, Dean."

"What for?"

Cas made a sharp turn away from the bed, caught sight of himself in the full length mirror on the closet door and froze. He peered at the man in the mirror as if he didn't know who it was. "I can't find friggin' Lilith!" he said with anger. "You're getting weaker and weaker and there's nothing I can do other than postpone the inevitable."

"Cas, you just swore!"

Cas huffed through his nose and whirled around. "_That's_ what you took from all that?"

Dean recoiled a little from the turmoil in Cas' eyes. "What do you want me to say?" _That I'm scared outta my friggin' mind you won't be able to save me? That I'm afraid you'll lose your grace in the process? That all I want right now is for you to climb in bed with me and hold me?_

"I want you to understand how severe the circumstances are." Cas turned back to the mirror. "I miss my overcoat," he said so sadly it made Dean ache.

"It's in the Impala's trunk."

"I _know_ where it is, Dean. I put it there." Cas heaved another sigh. "I want…" He hung his head and studied the floor.

I will never let you fall  
>I'll stand up with you forever<br>I'll be there for you through it all  
>Even if saving you sends me to Heaven<p>

The words of the song he'd heard in the bathroom crashed into his mind and they all applied to his angel. "I don't want you sacrificing yourself for me." Dean's tone was gruff.

"It's not your decision; it's mine."

Dean peered into the indigo of Cas' eyes. "Why?"

"Because you're you, Dean."

The simple answer floored Dean. "Because I'm the righteous man?"

"You are much, much more." Cas' face was luminous in the semi-darkness of the basement.

"How much more?" _Why do I keep pushing him?_

Cas frowned. "More than I have the words to describe."

Dean rose, but not before he re-tucked the towel about his middle, securing it at his waist, and then he let the cover fall. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, rose slowly and padded over to Cas. He gripped Cas biceps and stared into his eyes. "Tell me what these kisses mean to you. Are they just helping me breathe? Tell me, dammit!"

Cas caught Dean's face in his hands and moved so close that Dean felt his breath on his face. "Your lips are soft as the petals of one of my Father's roses. Your mouth tastes like pie and beer. I find it isn't unpleasant. My vessel's pulse is beating fast. Its heart throbs and I feel like I'm suffocating." Cas paused and Dean gasped as the blue eyes incinerated him. "And I would do it again. I would kiss you again, Dean. I never want to stop kissing you."

Dean felt like he was punched in the solar plexus. "Geez, Cas. This is scaring the hell outta me!"

Cas tilted his head. His eyes were blue diamonds, hard and as cutting. "You asked me, Dean."

"It's just I…" _Tell him! _"I don't know what I'm feeling! I don't know what's up and what's down! I don't know what I want except…"

"Except what?" Cas' lips spoke against Dean's as the angel pulled him close.

"Except…you." _There, I said it, only I really didn't._

"Kiss me, Dean." Cas leaned back a little. "_You_ kiss _me_ this time."

_This is getting way too kinky for me. God, Cas, you think __**my **__lips are soft?_

"Don't you want to?" Cas frowned and his arms fell to his sides.

_This is your opportunity to end this. Be his friend; be his brother!_

"I have to find Lilith," Cas said and turned to go. Every line in his body showed dejection.

Dean started, like a horse feeling the whip coming out of the gate in The Kentucky Derby. He bridged the gap between them and reached out, his fingers encountering the gauntlets that covered the angel's arms. He slid his hands past them, up to Cas' shoulders. Cas' gaze locked on Dean as the hunter framed the angel's face with his hands.

Sexual tension spiked in Dean with an instant charge. "Oh, I'll kiss you," he said in a low growl.

Dean closed his eyes. _It's cowardice on my part because I don't want to see a guy's face so close to mine, but this is Cas! Feeling the rasp of his stubble makes me tingle to my toes. I don't want to admit how I'm quivering as I claim his lips._

Cas made a sound, a small moan, and Dean's passion enveloped him so that he forgot everything but the soft, chapped lips beneath his, the hard muscles encased in armor, the yielding of his angel in his arms.

Cas smelled like fresh rain and innocence, of temptation Dean didn't dare act upon.

"Dean. Dinner's ready!"

Sammy couldn't have ruined the moment more if he'd poured cold water over them. Both men stepped back and avoided looking at each other. Dean was so flustered, he couldn't speak. He was suddenly very aware that he was only wearing a towel.

"I…better get dressed." If Sammy saw him like this—alone with Cas.

"I'll…leave you…" Cas began.

Dean made a sharp gesture that almost loosened the towel. He held it together. "Stay for dinner with us."

"I don't eat, Dean." Cas sounded exasperated. That was better than hurt or depression.

"I know, but you can sit at the table with us and fill us in on what you've been up to." Dean widened his eyes and put on his most charming smile.

"I was about to say, I'll leave you to get dressed." Cas made a small face. "This armor is… unpleasant to sit in."

"So, take it off…for now."

_Maybe if you take it off I won't keep thinking of what's underneath._

"I'll need help getting it off."

Dean swallowed. "You can't just zap it off?"

"No, Dean, I can't."

Dean held up a hand. "Gimme a minute." He opened the closet, grabbed a pair of jeans and put them on, using the door as a shield. So he wouldn't have to go past Cas to reach the chest-of-drawers where his underwear was, he decided he'd go commando. He found an AC/DC tee shirt on the floor, sniffed the armpits and figured it would pass muster.

When he peered out from behind the door, he was relieved to see Cas was still there. He approached the angel. "What comes off first?" _Did I just say that?_

Dean walked around Cas and studied the armor. It was made of some kind of alloy in broad strips fastened to internal leather straps. The strips were arranged horizontally on Cas' body, overlapping downwards, and they surrounded his torso in two halves, fastened at the front and back by brass hooks, which were joined by leather laces. The upper body and shoulders were protected by additional strips to form the shoulder guards and breast and back plates.

Cas motioned to his back and Dean removed the back plate after figuring out what he needed to do. The breastplate came next. Dean had expected Cas to have on a shirt of some kind underneath, but all he saw was skin the color of marble, even with some of the fine veining.

"That's enough. Thank you, Dean. I can do the rest myself."

Dean nodded. _Try to keep your tongue off the floor while you stare at Cas' naked chest, ya moron! _He made one more trip to the closet and handed Cas a pair of jeans and T-shirt. "You fixed for underwear?" he asked.

"Yes. Thanks."

Dean hurried upstairs to the kitchen and met inquiring looks from Bobby and Sam.

"Pizza okay?" Sam asked, serving a big slice with all Dean's favorite toppings on it onto a plate.

"We have a dinner guest," he said.

"I thought I heard you talking to someone when I called to tell you dinner's ready." Sam sat down and blew on his piece of pizza. "Careful. It just came out of the oven."

"Yeah, well, as you know, Cas doesn't eat, so you don't have to get a plate for him."

Sam had the look Dean knew so well, the probing, what-aren't-you-telling-me-Dean look.

"How's he gonna sit in that get-up?" Bobby asked around a bite of pizza.

"By taking it off," Cas answered as he entered the kitchen.

Dean scowled as Bobby and Sam reacted to the sight of Castiel in Dean's jeans and T-shirt in a shade of blue that brought out the color of his eyes.

And they weren't the only ones, Dean thought, as the blood thrummed in his veins.

_Okay, so it's __**not**__ just the armor. It's Cas. Man looks damn good in my jeans! I am so totally screwed!_

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6

A/N First, I don't own Supernatural or the lyrics to "Angel" by Aerosmith, a song my mom suggested would fit this story. ANYWAY, SO I WANT TO THANK THE ONES WHO ARE SO KIND TO LEAVE REVIEWS. THEY ARE TO ME LIKE PIE IS TO DEAN. Thanks to you who have added this to your alerts. Thanks to the ones who stop by and only leave a trace on the graphs. The plot did move a little, at a snail's pace, but Sam might prove to be a problem and, as you will see, Dean gets really mad at Cas. Sigh. Hated to do that, but these are the Winchesters after all. I have some homework due this week, so I may have to wait at least two to three days before I post the next chapter.

The Winds of Change

Chapter Six:

"Come and Save Me Tonight"

Come and save me tonight  
>You're the reason I live<br>You're the reason I die  
>You're the reason I give when I break down and cry<br>Don't need no reason why

Dinner was an ordeal as far as Dean was concerned. He thought if he sat next to Cas at the table, then he wouldn't stare at him all during the meal. He hadn't counted on how small the table was, crowding their chairs together so that his thigh nudged Cas'. Dean shifted as far as he could, but then that took him too close to Sam, who gave him a funny, calculating "uh-huh" look.

Bobby and Sam listened as Cas told them of his failed attempts to find Lilith. Dean concentrated on Cas' hands, gesturing as he talked. They were smaller than Dean's, with lean fingers and decent nails; only one with a ragged cuticle. The veins under the pale skin traced feathery paths to his wrists. Nothing marked the smooth skin; no watch rode his wrist, no freckles. The hairs on his arms were dark and looked silky. Dean studied the comparison, his green eyes sweeping over his own arms. The light, blond hairs dusted his tanned skin. Cas really needed to get more sun.

_What the __**friggin'**__ Hell?_

"So, what do we do, Cas?" Sammy was in full got to-save-my-big-brother mode. "If you can't find Lilith, who can?"

"Two of my brothers are also looking. I have to stay close in case Dean needs me."

There was a very long pause filled with all sorts of conjectures. Dean could guess what Sam and Bobby were thinking. Cas' words sounded so suggestible. Sam cocked his head to meet Dean's eyes; Dean saw them widen when his older brother ducked his head down after a fleeting glance.

"You have to keep healing him?" Bobby asked. He stopped eating his pizza and let it drop onto his plate.

Cas sighed. "I can't heal him. I can only help him. I can grant him more time."

Sam almost upset the table as he rose, chair crashing to the floor behind him as those long, long legs unwound. He stood quivering, big hands forming fists, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean you can only grant him more time?" Sam's eyes flashed. "Are you telling me he's dying?"

"I am able to slow it down, but, yes, Dean is dying unless I find Lilith and kill her."

Dean saw black flecks and white spots before his eyes as if paparazzi had snapped his photo a dozen times and the flashes were glued to his retinas. "D-dying?"

Cas stood now, his eyes meeting Dean's imploring gaze. "I won't let you die, Dean."

"Not that I want Dean to die, but if he did, couldn't you bring him back, Cas?" Bobby's sick expression belied his calm words.

"Lilith's blood has poisoned him." Cas walked away from the table. "He should be all right for the next couple days." He looked uncomfortable. "I…need to go."

"No!" Dean felt a blush rinse his face as Sam and Bobby stared at him. He sounded like a panicky little was. Dean was on his feet now, every line of his body showing stress. "I… need to talk to you outside, Cas."

"It's cold out there," Bobby said, laying his elbows on the table. He was the only one still seated.

"Cas, there has to be something we can do!" Sam blocked Dean and Cas as they started to leave through the kitchen door.

Cas turned on Sam and his eyes were blue flames. "I'm doing everything I can for him!" he shouted. "Don't turn to that demon for answers, Sam." He raised a chiding finger. "I _will_ stop you if you continue down this path."

Now Bobby was on his feet. "Was that a threat? Did you just threaten one of my boys?"

"The threat lies in Sam, not me." Cas continued out the door, followed by Dean doggedly on his heels.

Bobby was right. It was cold. Dean could see his breath and the thin T-shirt he wore provided no protection as a chilled wind howled through the trees near the rundown barn. Dean crossed his arms over his chest to ward off some of the cold. It wasn't just the weather, but Cas' revelation.

There was a thin crust of ice over the frozen ground. A sliver of moon shone through the trees. The branches looked like skinny dowels stuck into a bigger dowel stuck into a spindle, and all painted black. The stars looked cold and distant and wispy clouds raced across the sky.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Cas broke the silence.

"Damn cold," Dean groused as he rubbed his arms briskly. He glanced up and saw a few snowflakes lazily spiraling down from the sky. "It's starting to snow." _Damn. I don't know what to say to him. He just threatened Sammy, but I'm not mad at him. That's a first! He's right. Sam and Ruby, bad, bad combination. Nothing good can come of it. Sam promised me he wouldn't meet her anymore. Is he doing it behind my back?_

Dean turned to regard the angel at his side. Cas seemed impervious to the weather. He was standing with his head up, a slight smile on his face, his eyes showing an innocent delight.

"Cas, uh, open your mouth and stick out your tongue."

That got the angel's attention! Cas frowned slightly. "You want to kiss me again, Dean?"

_Well, yes, I do, but that's beside the point! _Dean tried not to sound flustered. "Nah. It's fun to catch the snowflakes on your tongue." Feeling silly, he demonstrated. "I used to do it when I was a kid." _Along with writing my name in the snow and making snow angels. Not enough snow yet to do that…hmmm._

Cas' brows rose, but he complied. He caught a snowflake on his tongue and a thoughtful expression took over his face. "Interesting." He considered Dean, tilting his head in that adorable way. "I like you kissing me better."

Dean didn't feel the cold as a hot blush flooded through his body. "Cas, what did you mean about Sam and Ruby?"

"You already know." Cas caught another snowflake. "I…don't understand, Dean. What is the point of this? The snowflake melts as soon as it touches my tongue."

_I melt when I touch your tongue, too. Dude, get a grip!_

"The point is, it's fun." Dean draped his arm over Cas's shoulders and they stood there in companionable silence. The angel was shorter than Dean and it brought out the protective side of the hunter. "It's damn cold out here, but I'm not ready to go back inside. Let's take a drive." Before he'd left the basement, he'd grabbed his keys off the chest-of-drawers and he produced them with a naughty grin.

"Dean…"

"Dean, what? I haven't driven my baby in a few. I'm going nuts all cooped up. With you with me, I should be fine."

Cas rolled his eyes Heavenward as if asking, "Seriously?" He nodded and accompanied Dean to the garage. It was small, so he had to wait to get into the car after Dean backed out.

Dean backed up until he could turn around and then swung the Impala onto the back road that wasn't much more than a slippery track. The Impala's back wheels squealed as they spun a moment, then got traction and the heavy car glided forward like a large black panther.

Dean turned on the heater and reached for his tapes. He struck his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Dammit, I don't have my music with me!"

"Can't you drive without it, Dean?"

Dean blew out a deep breath. "Yes, but it's not as much fun." He didn't want to go back to the house and face Bobby and Sam. "Ah, never mind. We'll make do with what's on the radio." He switched on the radio.

"Here's an oldie but a goodie," the DJ was announcing when Dean finally found a station that came in clear.

I'm alone, yeah, I don't know if I can face the night  
>I'm in tears and the cryin' that I do is for you<br>I want your love  
>Let's break the walls between us<br>Don't make it tough  
>I'll put away my pride<br>Enough's enough  
>I've suffered and I've seen the light<p>

Dean listened to the words of the Aerosmith song, his mouth opening in shock. _Angel? Really? It's like a damn conspiracy._

Cas sat beside him in the passenger's seat, quiet, but contemplative, almost brooding.

"You care to share?" Dean asked abruptly when the song ended.

"Sam is on a dangerous road, Dean. Once I end Lilith and save you, then I will have to address Sam."

"That sounds pretty dire there, Cas." Dean pulled over and stopped the car. "In fact, that sounds like you might intend to harm my brother."

"Either I stop him or another angel will, and he or she will not have the same connection I do with you…and Sam."

_Wait…is that a tear I see in his eyes or a trick of the light? _The snow was coming down thickly now and had turned the air into a grey frosty substance. The slice of moon still shone through a crack in the clouds. It was just enough light, accompanied with the dash lights, to illuminate Cas' features.

"Cas, what's wrong?"

The tear lingered at the corner of Cas' eye and then slowly descended down the curve of his cheek. Dean leaned closer, watching the lone tear track down the angel's face, pausing above his mouth. Dean gently caught it on the tip of his tongue. It was salty, like any tear, but it belonged to an angel. His angel.

Cas turned his head and they were a breath apart. Dean held his breath, his eyes roving over the angel's face, memorizing every part of it. He kissed Cas's eyelids as they closed, the long lashes feathering his cheek. He butterfly kissed Cas down to the small indentation in his chin. His fingers caressed the stubbled cheeks, marveling at the feeling. He slid one hand into Cas' wavy hair. It was soft, not gelled like his.

"Are you going to kiss me again, Dean?" The voice slid over him like dark velvet.

He answered with his lips on Cas', exploring his mouth, shivering when Cas moaned softly.

_So, here you are in a parked car making out with an angel. That's one for the tabloids! _Dean's little voice was trying to give him a wake-up call.

_Shut up! It feels so good, so right. So much has gone wrong in my life. Can't I just have this one thing? Cas said it himself, "Good things happen, Dean." Well, Cas, you're the best thing to ever happen to me. And…I want… I want…_

He drew back a little so he could gaze at Cas. The angel's eyes were shut and there was a bewildered expression on his face. Cas' hands were on Dean's shoulders, fingers digging in a little. Cas opened his eyes and his gaze cremated Dean, at least, that's what it felt like. The heat in the angel's eyes was palpable.

"Why did you stop?" Cas sounded slightly winded.

Dean smiled. "I want to take this slow, Cas. I want your first time to be…"

_Whoa! What the hell, dude? Are you thinking what I think you're thinking? This is Cas, not some diner chick, not some one-night stand. Not a chick at all!_

_SHUT! UP!_

Dean frowned and winced as his head began to pound and his heart beat erratically. "Cas, I think I need more."

Cas didn't hesitate. He cradled Dean's face in his warm hands and kissed him, blowing the breath of life into his lungs as they tried to seize up again. Dean was finally able to breathe without Cas' help. He sank back against the driver's seat, taking deep breaths, his eyes wide and frightened.

"It's getting worse, isn't it?"

Cas nodded. "I'll get us back." In the blink of an eye, the Impala was back in the garage, in another blink, Cas had transported Dean back to the basement. Cas motioned to the bed. "You should lie down. I need to talk to Sam and Bobby for a few minutes. Will you be all right?"

Dean smiled his good-to-go smile. "I'm fine now."

"I'll be back soon," Cas promised and disappeared.

Dean glanced at the bed, but he wasn't willing to go to bed this early. Something caught his eye, something that glittered in the semi-darkness. He walked over and saw it was Cas' armor. He quickly looked around like a naughty child about to do something he knew he shouldn't.

But there it was, in all its glory. Dean thought it couldn't hurt just to hold the breastplate. Or put it against him to look in the mirror. He picked it up and was amazed again at how light it was. It looked like it was made of some thick metal plates, but didn't weigh much more than aluminum foil. He admired his reflection in the mirror as he held it against his chest. Suddenly there was a whirling dervish of light and he heard sounds like closures and leather straps being buckled. The light faded and he was amazed and dismayed to see he was now wearing the armor. It had fastened itself!

But then he got a good look at his reflection. He turned, giving himself a nod of approval.

"Eat your heart out, Russell Crowe."

Since he already had most of it on, Dean turned to the rest of the armor and the same thing happened the moment he touched the pieces. They attached, buckled, whatever, and soon he was in full armor, except for the helmet and the dorky looking headband (_that'll mess up my hair_). He thought he cut quite a dashing figure. He smiled and made a few gestures like he was a Gladiator fighting a CG tiger.

The sword in its sheath was the last thing he took. He slashed the air with it. "Hah! Hah! Take that and that!" He posed for the mirror, sword held at an angle in front of his face.

"Dean, what are doing?"

At Bobby's astounded voice, Dean froze, his pose now extremely juvenile and ridiculous.

I…um…that is…I…" Words died on Dean's tongue.

"Idjit," Bobby said fondly, if a trifle exasperatedly. "Come back upstairs when you're done playing Gladiator."

Dean was left alone, feeling silly. And then thunder rumbled through the room and a bright light shone through the casement windows. It reminded him of that movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind. _Oh, jeez. Are aliens after me now?_

"Dean, what have you done?" Cas came in, wings unfurled. His voice was loud with alarm.

Dean froze. "I'm sorry, okay?" He saw the stern look on Cas' face. "I only wanted to see what it looked like, and it pulled a straightjacket trick on me!"

"Take. It. Off." Cas was really angry. "NOW!"

"Okay." Dean tried, but nothing unfastened the armor. "I can't, Cas." He tried again and then asked, "What's happening?" He pointed to the bright light.

"He's coming!" Cas reached out to put two fingers to Dean's forehead. "That's _Michael's_ armor."

"What?" Dean gasped.

"_Michael's_ sword." Cas was furious. "You're _Michael's_ vessel. The armor serves as a beacon to the archangel Michael."

Dean felt weak. "You mean…"

"He's coming here."

Dean gulped.

"I have to get you out of here."

"No!" Dean caught Cas' fingers before they could touch his forehead and jerked them down. "Not without Sammy and Bobby!"

"You're more important."

"No, I'm not!" Dean thundered.

"You are to me."

Cas spread his wings and seized Dean, still in the armor, clutching him to his body as he took flight.

"Dammit, Cas! You can't leave them!"

"When it comes to saving you Dean, I'll do any damn thing I have to!"

In a second, the house was a speck far below and they soared through cold snow clouds. Dean's vision was blurred by tears. "If something happens to Sammy or Bobby, I'll never forgive you," he muttered.

"If something happens to you, I'll never forgive myself."

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Finally I can get back to what I want to be doing, which is writing. I don't own Supernatural or the song "Little Angel" by Bad Company. I want to thank all of you who review, who alert the story, who just stop by. Cyber pie for everyone! You ever think there's something going on with all the angel songs and even a movie this time? Is it part of a plan? Even maybe a Divine plan? (sing-song voice) I'll never tell! Anyway, please enjoy!

The Winds of Change

Chapter Seven:

"I Need an Angel"

Cas did not listen to Dean's angry rumblings. He held the hunter close as he flew. He dove through clouds that were lit from the shard of a moon glinting through crystals of ice and snow. His wings cut through the clouds, and the heat in them caused the ice that tried to stick, to melt. Nothing stopped his progress as he cleared the clouds, and he heard Dean gulp and felt him clutch convulsively at him, hiding his face against Cas' chest. Cas tightened his grip on the hunter. It was not…unpleasant.

He glanced back and was relieved to see there were no pursuers. He knew Dean was angry with him for putting him before Sam and Bobby, but Cas had back-up. The moment he'd seen the Heavenly light, he'd known Michael was coming. It wasn't until he caught Dean in Michael's armor that he knew how the archangel had found them. Gabriel and Balthazar had heard Cas' summons and responded.

He descended through the clouds and snow fell upon him as he slowed his speed and neared the ground. The moment they touched down, he released Dean.

"We must go inside," he told Dean.

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Dean stalked a few feet, hunching his shoulders against the cold. He saw a sign: _St. Michael's Church._

"Dean, go inside the church. NOW!" Cas was in no mood to coddle the hunter. Stakes were too high. "We have to get Michael's armor off you."

"You have to go back and get Sammy and Bobby, dammit!" Dean whirled on Cas and took menacing steps toward the angel.

"You are my charge," Cas explained as patiently as he could. Anger welled deep within him and he wondered why he felt such a human emotion. "You are my first responsibility…besides…"

Dean was up in his face now. The green eyes were charged with fury. "There's no excuse for this! You could've zapped all of us."

Cas' eyes changed to blue embers. "I wanted to split you up. Michael was not alone."

"You…left them to the mercy of a douche bag archangel!"

"No." Cas took a step back. For some reason, he wanted to punch Dean, and that wasn't like him at all. "I took _you_. Gabriel took _Sam_. Balthazar took _Bobby_." Cas' hand tightened on Dean's shoulder and pushed, propelling the stunned hunter toward the double wooden doors of the church. "Get inside. We have to get his armor off you."

Dean looked mollified, but Cas was in no mood to cut the hunter a break. He opened one door and Dean went meekly inside. Cas had to use his angel grace to remove the armor. He considered putting it on, but shrugged inside his head. _If Michael wants it, he can come and get it. The bastard tricked me._

Dean was staring around at the stained glass windows of the church. "Cas, I…" A streetlight shone through one and prisms danced across his face.

"Not now," Cas ground between his teeth. "We have to go. We'll meet the others in the safe house my brothers have prepared."

"I owe you an apology," Dean began again. Of course, he paid no attention to Cas' mood.

"Yes, you do, but not now."

"Can't you just zap me there?" Dean gazed up at the ceiling and actually seemed to turn green when Cas unfurled his wings.

"I could, but I need to rest. Michael's armor was…difficult to get off you. We must go," Cas stated and led the hunter outside.

"Is the hideout in this state? Could you zap my baby here and we could drive?"

Fuming inside, Cas lifted off and held out his arms, scooping Dean into his embrace before the hunter could move.

"Aw, c'mon, Cas! I hate flying!"

Cas didn't listen. He took perverse pleasure when Dean held onto him for dear life. Cas loved to fly. It was a joy to him, a return to his roots, a melding of Earth to Heaven. The snow flurried about him and he smiled at the kiss of the cold flakes on his wings. He flew slowly, using the updrafts of air to help him glide. He was high enough so nobody could see him, but low enough for the cold to thrill through his vessel. He gazed down at Dean and saw his eyes were tightly shut and he smiled indulgently, all his anger forgotten. Dean looked so vulnerable, so scared. Cas dropped a kiss on Dean's head.

"Open your eyes, Dean," he told him a moment later as he landed in a snow drift. Dean walked away, leaned his hands on his knees and took deep breaths.

Cas stood there, snow pelting him. Dean glanced up at the sky and then hurried back to Cas. Cas' wings rose and sheltered the hunter. Dean gazed imploringly at the angel.

"I'm sorry, Cas."

"You're forgiven." Cas curved his wings about the forlorn hunter, pulling him into his arms. "You're cold."

Dean seemed to love the feeling of the soft, downy wings. He reached up and touched one of the flight feathers and Cas shuddered.

"Is that forbidden?"

Cas regarded Dean, tilting his head. Did the hunter know how adorable he found him? "You can touch them." _Only you._

The feathers were designed in such perfection. As Dean touched them he found they were light but very strong, flexible but tough. They were different sizes and held a kaleidoscope of colors, like the wings of a black bird he'd seen when he was a kid out fishing with Bobby. It was so cold, the snow turned to hoar frost on the outer feathers. Dean gently brushed it off and noticed Cas shiver.

"Does…that turn you on?" _Did I really just say that!_

"We should go inside." Cas moved away from Dean and his wings folded and then disappeared. The cold blasted Dean. He'd kept on his T-shirt and jeans under the armor, but they didn't provide any protection from the wind.

Dean hurried inside and was met with a warm room with a fireplace. Sam and Bobby were huddled there and Dean crossed the room and slugged his little brother's shoulder in delight and shared a brief manly hug with Bobby.

"What took you so long, brother?" Gabriel turned from roasting a marshmallow. "Open," he bid Sam and Sam rolled his eyes but opened his mouth. Gabriel inserted the gooey, warm marshmallow onto Sam's tongue. "Yummy, yes?"

Sam's eyes widened, and Dean smirked. The marshmallow must've been hot on his tongue.

"Michael's armor was…difficult to get off." Cas said, giving his usual brief answer.

Balthazar looked keenly amused. "Trying on an archangel's armor." He moved suddenly and cuffed Dean on the back of the head. "What were you thinking?"

"Hey!" Dean put a hand to his head. "I didn't know it belonged to Michael. I never would've touched it if I knew!"

Gabriel's eyes sparkled in glee. "Oh, I see. You thought you were trying on Cas' armor." He turned to regard Cas, arching a blond brow. "And you weren't wearing it because…?"

Bobby chuckled. "We were fixing s'mores. Been waiting for you to get here for two hours."

Dean sent a heated gaze to Cas. _Seriously? Two hours?_

"Cas flew you the old-fash way." Gabriel tried to hand feed Sam a s'more and Sam moved back, crashing into the fireplace tool set complete with galley rail. The resulting clanging noises caused Dean to grimace and slap his hands over his ears.

"Watch it, ya klutz," Bobby said to the embarrassed Sam.

Dean let his hands fall to his side. He watched Cas take the other two angels to have a private confab with them and he wished he was in on it because something had his hunter's senses tingling. _Why had Cas been wearing Michael's armor? What did he mean when he said he was tricked? How soon can I feel his wings again?_

_Dude!_

_I can't friggin' help it. _Dean was back to arguing with his little voice.

After the confab was over, Dean saw Sam react to something Gabriel said and joined them. "What's up?"

"Godzilla here burned his tongue and I told him angel spit has magical powers."

"He said if he kissed me, it would get all better," Sam sputtered.

Dean closed his eyes a moment. _Gabe's got a thing for Sam? Since when?_

"You humans seem to buy into the ole kiss-it-and-make-it-better idea, so I thought I'd offer." Gabriel snapped his fingers and Sam's eyes got real big. Gabriel turned to wink at Dean. "Your baby bro takes all the fun out of things."

Sam stuck out his tongue and Dean nodded to let him know it was all healed. Dean saw Sam stare at Gabriel when the angel wasn't looking at him. "You know, Sammy, you could do a lot worse…like Ruby."

Sam got his bitch-face on. He liked to screw up his features into that tight mask, narrow his eyes and tower over Dean when he got defensive. "Where did that come from, Dean? You think I've been sneaking out on you? When would that have been? In between me and Bobby spending all our time trying to find a way to find Lilith?"

Dean raised his hands to placate Sam. "Don't get your boxers in a twist."

"I promised you I wouldn't meet Ruby, and I haven't!"

"I believe you."

"Although, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea." Sam seemed to warm to the idea. "You can't go with me, but maybe Cas can."

Jealousy flared in Dean. "Cas isn't…" He swallowed. "He needs to stay near me, I mean."

"I'll go with you, Sunshine." Gabriel wasn't very tall, but he made up for it in the size of his balls. "Keep you on the straight and narrow." He saluted Dean. "Archangel Gabriel, reporting for duty, sir!"

"Ruby might know where Lilith is." Sam was running with the idea now and Dean wanted to punch something.

"I don't want you going near her," Dean shouted.

Everyone else in the room, turned to see what was going on. Dean saw Bobby just shake his head at yet another Winchester confrontation. Cas stared into space. Dean wondered what he thought about when he did that. Balthazar pointedly ignored them.

"Cas isn't the only one who's going to do whatever he can to save you, Dean!" Sam matched Dean's volume. "I've seen you die!" He cast a glance to Gabriel. "Thanks to the Trickster here, I saw you die over and over and over." Sam's face crumpled and he grabbed Dean by the biceps. "I can't lose you again, Dean. I…can't."

"You won't," Dean assured him, although, from Cas' grim features, he didn't think this whole thing would turn out without him landing six feet under…again_. But this time I won't come back. _

As if the angel could read his mind, Dean saw Cas staring at him across the room and he saw the silent promise his angel made him.

Dean wondered if even Cas could pull off the miracle that was needed. He had an idea of how to flush out Lilith. _Use me for bait. That way Sammy stays away from that skank Ruby and doesn't owe Gabriel. _

Dean watched, his mind in a funk, as the others, except Cas, joined in the fun. Sam popped some corn in the fireplace and put on the movie City of Angels. _Chick flick. Whoever lived here must be into chick flicks. _Dean tried not to watch the movie, but found he was drawn in. He sank down on the floor. He was feeling strong and well, and it was hard to believe he was dying, but he knew he would weaken in time and feel the indescribable pain in his lungs.

**Tagline:**

What if angels walked among us, and one of them fell in love with us?

Even in the dark, illuminated only by the TV and the fireplace, Dean could feel Cas staring at him as he munched on popcorn and joshed at the romance of an angel for a human doctor.

Gabriel perched on the couch arm next to Sam and kept tossing popcorn in the air and catching it in his mouth. He and Sam had a contest going to see who would miss. Gabriel failed to catch his when something in the movie made him choke with laughter.

"This is the funniest movie I've seen since It's A Wonderful Life and that deal with 'every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings'." He made the motions of ringing a bell and then flapped his arms.

Dean didn't pay much attention to Gabriel's antics. He was busy trying not to stare back at Cas. His angel was over by the fireplace, and it was fascinating to see the way the fire played over his handsome features, casting light and shadow, turning the dark blue eyes to stars.

_Geez, Dude! Why don't you ask him if he'd wear your ring?_

Dean ignored his little voice. He glanced down at the silver ring he always wore. The firelight glinted off of it and, for some reason, Dean felt incredibly sad. When Dean was sad or mad or just being Dean, he drank. He got up and went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed a beer. He opened the beer and chugged down some of the cold brew, relishing it.

"Dean."

He jumped and almost dropped the bottle. "Cas, you gotta stop doing that!"

"What? Walk into the kitchen?" Cas looked extremely puzzled and Dean had to laugh.

"You need something?" _Why did he follow me out here?_

"I…need to leave. If Sam and Gabriel are going to see Ruby, it may stir things up. She may not know where Lilith is, but word will spread through her ranks she met with an angel and Sam Winchester."

Dean was alarmed. He put the beer on the kitchen counter. "How are they going to know? That means Lucifer will find Sam!" He paced a few steps. "This is a bad idea. I won't let Sammy go."

"You won't be able to stop him." Cas sighed and he moved his shoulders as if his now invisible wings weighed him down. "Dean, if you don't go along with this, Sam will wait until you are too weak to stop him." He sighed again and gazed at the floor. "At least Gabriel will be there to protect him."

Dean felt a huge lump form in his throat. "How long will you be gone?"

"At the rate your health is deteriorating, I can't be gone more than a day."

Something screamed in Dean's mind and his heart lurched in his chest. _I don't want you to go, Cas._

"I don't want to leave you, but I must." Cas' head came up and he met Dean's searching gaze.

Dean just stood there forlornly. He didn't know what to say or do. Another parting between them. It hurt more each time. It was like he lost a part of himself every time Cas left.

"Stay strong for me," Cas rumbled.

Dean couldn't look up. Tears were in his eyes and he couldn't let Cas see them.

_Grow a pair, Dude!_

"Dean…" The voice was soft now.

"Cas…"

"The angel in that movie. He fell to be with her. I…would do the same for you."

Dean was so touched, words failed him. That seemed to be happening a lot these days. He wanted to do something; he wanted to show Cas his support. His eyes fell to the ring and he twisted it off and approached Cas.

"Cas, I want you to take this. I want to be with you, even if it's just…"

Cas placed a finger to Dean's lips. "We are not going to say good-bye, Dean. I _will _save you."

"Just…wear it. Please. For me."

Cas looked exasperated for a moment. "I can't. It contains your energy and I can't take the chance Michael will track me down because of it. "

Dean hung his head for a moment, put his ring back on and then he pulled Cas into his arms. "Then take _this_ with you."

He kissed Cas like he'd never kissed anyone. He threaded his fingers through the dark hair and put everything he was feeling into the kiss. His lips smoldered against Cas', molding them into acceptance as he demanded a response, and then the angel opened his mouth and Dean shared his breath. The room spun and Dean felt dizzy, but he held onto Cas and kept kissing him. He kissed him until Cas clung to him, his hands resting on Dean's shoulders. He kissed him until Cas moaned softly and his smaller frame went limp against Dean. He kissed him until Cas's hands crept around his waist and Dean increased his hold on the angel until their bodies were fused together. He kissed him until tears spurted from Dean's eyes and he sobbed as Cas tightened his embrace. He kissed Cas until the spark that had been between them turned into a raging inferno. He kissed Cas until his knees buckled and the two of them sank down on the floor, still holding each other. He kissed Cas because it felt like his heart would stop beating if he stopped. He kissed Cas because, dammit, he loved him!

And finally, he had to stop kissing Cas because his physical needs could not be met. Not by his angel. He wouldn't sully him like that even though Cas might be willing. Kissing him was beautiful and terrible at the same time because it awoke feelings in Dean he'd never known he possessed. It didn't matter if Cas was a guy angel. What mattered was he was risking his life, his immortality, for Dean.

For a moment, Cas was silent, his breathing heavy, almost labored. There was a troubled look on his face. He stayed seated on the floor beside Dean, then slowly, gracefully rose and extended a hand to Dean to help him to his feet. The touch was electrifying and the two men stared into each other's eyes as if they were memorizing each other.

"Dean…I have to go."

"I know." Dean angrily wiped the tears away. _I never cry. What the hell has Cas done to me?_

"If…I don't return in time, Gabriel or Balthazar will… help you. I am turning your charge over to them in my absence."

_Gabriel AKA the Trickster? Balthazar? I don't want any other angel kissing me, Cas. Just you._

But he played along. "Sure, Cas, but that won't happen because nothing's going to happen to you."

Cas' mouth twitched, just at the corner, but Dean knew it was a smile. "I…appreciate what you wanted to do. I can't take any part of you with me, Dean, but I'll leave a part of myself for you."

With a rush of the sound of those magnificent wings, Cas was gone. Dean sighed, retrieved his beer, and, on second thought, grabbed the six-pack out of the fridge and trudged to the staircase. The others were watching the movie, although Sam did look up and a frown of disapproval marred his smooth forehead when he saw what Dean was carrying. Dean shrugged and went upstairs.

This house was a two-story and Dean cruised the bedrooms, noting Sammy's iPod standing on a beat-up dresser. The wallpaper was some of that Victorian crap that people still went for. Dean grabbed the iPod and found the room that must be his. The duffel with his stuff sat on a ratty rug. Dean found a broken down chair and pulled it to the window. He gazed out at the winter wonderland and killed off the six-pack in no time flat. By that time, he had a pleasant buzz going on. He hummed along to Bad Company's song on the iPod. He really needed to talk to Sammy about downloading some other music. The song wasn't bad, just, well, dammit, it made him think of Cas.

Sooner or later, when the time is right, you know that I'll be waiting here  
>And I'm sure that you will find your way to me<br>Baby I'll be ready, I've had so many lonely nights  
>I want a love that feels so right, and you know I'll be waiting for you<br>And baby if I could let you know  
>It's more than a feeling, it's what I believe in, and I can't let this go<p>

Dean dug out his cell phone and hit speed dial. A female voice said: You have reached the voicemail of…And then he heard Cas say, "I don't understand. Why…why do you want me to say my name?"

Dean chuckled and hit redial a couple of times.

_You are so pathetic, Dude. Sitting alone in a room, listening to his voice on voicemail._

Dean was too drunk to comment. He got up from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. He saw something out of the corner of his eye. Something dark was on his pillow. He held his breath. _It can't be. _With shaking fingers, he picked it up and its iridescence shone in the light from the sconce on the wall.

_Cas said he'd leave me something, a part of him. _

Dean held the feather by its vane and his eyes misted over as he lifted it and laid it against his cheek.

_Be safe, Cas. Come back to me._

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

A/N I don't own 'em. That would be slavery! Thanks to the ones who review. I so love reviews. Does Snoopy dance! And thanks for the alerts and faves and for you invisible ones who check this out. Don't own the song. I think I used it before, but it just fit so perfectly. There are some really dumb angel songs out there. Believe me, in my research I've checked just about every one! This chapter is HUGE! And I just kind of ended it, didn't I? Oh, what will happen to our fave angel?

The Winds of Change

Chapter Eight:

"In the arms of an Angel"

That…kiss. Cas shook his head and tried to clear it, but he could still feel Dean's lips on his, feel his rock hard body against his, feel his arms around him, feel those limber fingers in his hair. Feel his knees give way. Feel…

_Stop! _The silent command rang in his brain. _How am I supposed to react? Was my response sufficient? Dean seemed content, even happy. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. And…I am happy. That kiss! I have witnessed the birth of stars and seen them die. And yet, that kiss is a supernova in my heart; a wondrous, beautiful thing. I can find no comparison._

Cas frowned. He needed to be at the top of his game and he knew he wasn't even close. Removing Michael's armor had taken a lot of strength from his grace. He had flown with Dean because he was unable to "zap" him in the usual manner. He moved his shoulders, flexed his neck. He was waiting for Crowley. Time was running out for Dean_. If I must make a deal with Crowley…_

"'Ello, and how's our lovely little halo boy today?" Crowley appeared and gazed about the meeting place in disdain. "You couldn't find a better place to summon me?" He peered up at the broken shingles on the roof and his eyes widened a little when he saw the sigil on the floor that meant he was trapped. "You know, that shows a lack of trust, love. What have I ever done for you not to trust me?"

"I need to find Lilith and end her."

Crowley smiled. "I thought she was off limits. Holy edict, wasn't it?"

"I. Need. To. Find. Her."

"And I'm happy to help with that," Crowley said congenially and then raised a finger. "All I ask is a tiny, inconsequential favor in return."

_Don't do this! You are going against everything you believe in! _Inside, Castiel agonized. _I can't lose Dean!_

"What is the favor?" The words tasted like bile in his mouth.

"Once Lilith is dead, there's only one other tiny obstacle in my way."

_Seriously? Am I hearing this? _"I cannot destroy Lucifer."

"No," Crowley said with a hint of a smile. "But you can take care of ole Lucy's vessel and prevent the Apocalypse."

Cas injected righteous anger into his eyes, making them flare like twin suns. "I will not harm one hair on Sam Winchester's head!" He turned away. "We are done!"

Crowley made a placating gesture. "Wait, wait, wait." He said nothing more until Castiel faced him again. "So, we take _that_ off the table." He made a motion of clearing a space. "All better?"

Castiel shook with repressed fury. "I don't believe you know where Lilith is."

"Oh, I do, but I don't give anything away for nothing." He spread his hands. "It's in my job description."

"What do you want?"

"You. In Hell." Crowley sighed. "I know, I know, comes as a terrible shock, but have you any idea the amount of status you cost me when you stole Dean Winchester?" He noted Cas' scowl. "Yes, Alastair was in charge of that part of Hell, but I was his overseer." He rolled his eyes. "Lucifer was furious with me. He bloody demoted me! Sent me to roam the Earth in a meat suit." He made a face. "So, yes, if you want to save Dean, you'll surrender to me." He flicked an imaginary speck off his lapel. "Just to show you what a stand-up demon I am, I'll let you go say good-bye to him."

"I'm the only one keeping him alive," Castiel said, his shoulders sagging. A thought occurred to him, and he straightened. "Michael will never let anything happen to Dean."

"Oh, Michael, Miguel, Mikey, whatever. St. Mike's already shopping around for another vessel. You think Dean and Sam are the only seed of John Winchester?" He made a rude noise. "The man did sow more oats. And what he doth sow, Michael will reap." Crowley's eyes glowed with a sinister red light. "And that means he won't give a rat's ass what happens to pretty boy Dean." He acted as if he was stacking a house of cards. "If Lilith doesn't die, Dean will die and land in Hell, and I must tell you, lines are forming already for the honor of ripping him a new one, over and over and over again."

'Where is Lilith?" Castiel shook now out of fear and desperation.

"First: do we have a deal?"

_For you, Dean. _Castiel bowed his head in defeat. "Yes."

Crowley sniggered, grabbed a handful of Castiel's T-shirt and kissed him full on the mouth. "SWAK," the demon cackled.

Castiel scrubbed at his lips. No one had ever kissed him but Dean and he felt unclean, defiled. Only Dean's mouth on his could cleanse his spirit.

"Now, go say bye-bye to your boy." Crowley walked through the sigil on the floor. "Null and void now that we've sealed our deal." He smiled. "I'll be waiting here for you."

Cas disappeared from his sight.

"Is he gone?"

Crowley turned to the owner of the voice. "Yes, you can come out now."

Gabriel revealed himself. "You poured it on a little thick at the end, don't you think?"

Crowley tapped his chest. "Me, Tester." He pointed to Gabriel. "You, Trickster."

"I won't let you take Cas to Hell," Gabriel cautioned lightly.

"We have a deal." Crowley shrugged nonchalantly. "You're my witness."

"I witnessed nothing but you tricking my brother." Gabriel resorted to his true voice and the shingles that were left on the roof exploded into the air, pulverized into powder.

"Oh, ouch." Crowley rolled his eyes. "Not your ordinary demon, so tone the decibels down. You'll have my Hellhounds howling for decades."

"Where's Lilith?"

"I didn't tell Castiel. Why would I tell you?"

"Because I have Michael's sword?" Gabriel waggled his eyebrows, but when he wielded the great sword, Crowley showed real fear for the first time.

"I'm just doing my bloody job!"

Gabriel held Michael's sword at the ready. "And I'm doing mine: protecting my brother."

"Fine." Crowley sounded petulant. "I'll tell you where she is." He paused dramatically. "Don't suppose you could take out Lucifer for me?"

"Talk to Michael about that."

Crowley considered it. "Well, you _do_ have his sword."

"And, I'm going to use it to slice you up into tiny pieces…"

Crowley sniffed. "Right wanker, aren't you?" He considered his options. "I'll take you to Lilith."

Gabriel mulled it over. "One false move and I slice and dice."

"I _get_ it."

The two: the archangel and the demon, disappeared.

Dean lay in bed, fever raging, his breathing growing more labored with each passing minute. It hadn't been a full day since Cas left and Dean had gotten sick this time a lot faster and the symptoms were a lot more serious. He looked up through pain-glazed eyes and met Sam's worried gaze. Sammy wasn't even trying to put on a brave face this time. He wore the face Dean had seen so many times during the infamous year before Dean died and went to Hell. Those big puppy dog eyes glistened with tears, some already escaping and running down to his chin.

"Hey," Dean croaked. _I need to say something that'll take the terror out of his eyes, make him smile, maybe even laugh. Dammit, I can't think of anything! Sammy, I'm dying here, and I wish I could make it easy on you. I need to tell you how much I love you…before it's too late. _He opened his mouth, determination forming in his eyes.

Sam squeezed Dean's hand he was holding. "Don't try to talk, Dean." Dean saw his brother's Adam's apple bob up and down, and heard his voice falter. "I know. Me, too."

Bobby was sitting beside the bed, on the other side, holding Dean's other hand. "You two idjits don't even think of saying good-bye," he said in that growly voice Dean had come to depend on and love so much.

Just then, Balthazar walked into the room. "How bad is he?" he asked.

If there was character stamped on a face, Balthazar's was a prime example. He had lines formed more by scowls than smiles. The blue eyes had been stamped on by crows. Dean smirked at the strange picture that came to mind. Balthazar had made it quite clear he was only helping Dean because Cas asked. Gabriel had disappeared off to wherever without a word to anyone, so it fell to Balthazar to watch over Dean, a duty the angel was not interested in and had no bones about letting the humans know it.

"Bad," Sam said, wiping at tears with his free hand.

Balthazar strolled to the window and peered out at the snowscape. He gave the curtains an irritated twitch. He turned and regarded Dean. "The things I do for Castiel," he said, sighing.

Dean could only cough as his lungs constricted. He waved the angel back, but Balthazar moved forward. At the same time, Sam and Bobby moved out of his way.

Balthazar sat on the bed and leaned over Dean, who was having apoplexy. His face was fiery red and he was struggling to sit up, arms flailing.

"You hairless apes really are the most ungrateful…" Balthazar began and then blew out a cleansing breath. "I'm doing this for Cas," he recited. He gave Dean a no-nonsense look. "So, pucker up, sweetheart."

"That won't be necessary."

Dean fell back against his pillows when he heard the gravelly voice. "Cas," Dean gasped.

Castiel didn't say anything to the other occupants of the room, but his steely gaze made them all exit. Cas sat on the bed close to Dean. The hunter was too weak to sit up, but he lifted his arms, beckoning to Cas. The angel gently pulled Dean into his lap, cradling his body across his knees, one hand supporting the back of Dean's neck as the hunter's head lolled to the side.

"I'm here, Dean. It's okay." Cas smoothed damp hair back from the fevered brow. "You're okay."

Cas lowered his head and his lips blended with Dean's as he blew life-giving breath after breath into the hunter. At first, Dean didn't respond, but his breathing finally eased. Cas broke the kiss and pressed an ear to Dean's chest and listened to his heart. It was beating normally now. He raised his head and found Dean was looking at him.

"How are you feeling?" Suddenly, Cas wanted to distance himself from Dean.

"Better now that you're here." Dean looked dejected. "Guess you haven't found Lilith yet."

"I will. I have a lead." _Tell him you won't be able to return to him. _"My brothers will watch over you, Dean."

That smirk flashed for a fleeting moment and then Dean was somber. Cas gently moved Dean off his lap, stood and walked to the window. He stared out at a branch that was coated in ice. He found it strangely beautiful.

"Cas, what's up with you?" Dean got up and invaded Cas' personal space. "You having second thoughts?" Dean laid a hand on Cas' back and gently rubbed it. "Because you don't have to do this. I don't want you to do this. We'll figure out another way."

Cas didn't reply. He closed his eyes as Dean's hands settled on his shoulders and his strong fingers began to work the knots out of Cas' neck. Tension sang through the angel and he knew Dean was picking up on it, but there was nothing he could do. Letting his hunter die was _not _an option.

"Cas, why won't you talk to me?" Dean firmly turned Cas to face him. Green eyes bored into blue and they were like searchlights, leaving Cas nowhere to hide.

"I'm tired, Dean. Occasionally, even angels do get tired."

"It's my fault for putting on Michael's armor. Cas…I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I should've known Michael had an agenda when he loaned it to me. Gabriel still has his sword." Cas stretched his neck muscles and moaned softly.

Dean guided the angel to the bed. "Lie down, dude. Rest."

"Angels don't sleep."

"Humor me here." Dean sounded mildly annoyed and amused at the same time.

"All right."

Cas laid down in the bed, prone, stiff, arms folded over his chest. Dean chuckled.

"Man, you look like a damn corpse! Roll over on your side."

Cas didn't see what difference it made what position he took, but Dean was being pushy and Cas didn't want to argue over such an insignificant thing. He rolled onto his left side.

"Close your eyes."

Cas closed his eyes. They flew open when Dean crawled into bed with him. Dean flung one arm over Cas' waist and he felt Dean move close, until their bodies almost merged. It was not…unpleasant.

Cas moved his left arm to serve as a pillow for his head; he moved his right arm and reached out to take Dean's hand in his. Dean rubbed his calloused thumb over Cas' fingers one by one and then he intertwined his with Cas'.

_What am I supposed to do? What is Dean doing? Is this a form of comfort? _

Dean hummed under his breath and the sound resonated in Cas. He closed his eyes and a little smile crept to his lips. Dean was singing him to sleep, or trying, because angels didn't sleep… He found it very, very sweet.

Dean felt Cas' breathing change as he softly hummed Brahm's Lullaby to his angel. How corny! He'd searched his memory for something soothing and vaguely remembered his mother singing it to him. He didn't remember the words, but the tune was easy enough. He cradled Cas in his arms, holding him as close as he dared. Having his angel in bed with him was probably breaking all sorts of rules, but he just wanted to be close to him, to hold him, to wipe that look of pain from his features, to feel him relax like he was now.

"Dean…"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"This feels…nice."

"Yeah, it does."

"Dean…"

"Yeah?"

"I…need to tell you something."

"Not right now." Dean raised up and kissed exposed skin. Cas' T-shirt had hiked up and there was a tantalizing strip of pale skin. Cas' belly fluttered.

"Dean, what are you doing? That…tickles."

Dean lay back down and turned on his back, still holding Cas, but not wanting him to feel Dean's sudden arousal.

_It's normal,_ he told his little voice sternly before it could start in on him, but it was strangely silent. _Cas is in a human vessel. A guy vessel. Guys get turned on. Hell, it doesn't take much! Is Cas turned on right now like I am?_

Cas pretended to sleep, keeping his eyes shut, but in reality, he was savoring all the different feelings of lying there with Dean._ Dean's body is warm. Does he know how fragile it is? Humans are so fragile, but they are easy to fix. _Just a touch of angel grace. He frowned. _Dean should've healed the first time, spell dagger or not. Something's not right about this. I asked Balthazar and Gabriel before I left last time if either of them could heal him and they told me they couldn't. But Gabriel's an archangel!_

_Dean's turning on his back. I…liked…what is the term? Spooning? Strange term, but it fits as we fit together. Why did he turn on his back? Am I not reacting like he wants? What does he want? Will he mind if I lay my head on his shoulder? This feels…nice. I…almost could fall asleep like this._

Dean smiled when he heard a soft snore from Cas. He had lulled his angel to sleep. Of course, _**he**_ wasn't going to be able to sleep, but that was okay. He wanted to savor the feeling of having Cas this close. _Won't act on it. _He groaned when Cas turned and laid his head on Dean's shoulder. He caressed the angel's soft hair and chastely pulled Cas' T-shirt down so he wouldn't see the temptation. Cas made an m-mmmm sound deep in his throat and cuddled even closer. Dean continued to stroke his hair.

In the arms of the angel  
>Fly away from here<br>From this dark cold hotel room  
>And the endlessness that you fear<p>

You are pulled from the wreckage  
>Of your silent reverie<br>You're in the arms of the angel  
>May you find some comfort here<p>

Dean had heard the song earlier that day. Sam had told him to listen to music to help take his mind off the pain. The lyrics tore at his defenses. _What's with all the angel refs? Angel song after angel song and even the movie we watched was about an angel taking the final plunge from Heaven? _He glanced up at the ceiling. _If I didn't know any better I'd think they were signs, but Daddy Dearest up there doesn't care about us little ants down here._

Dean saw a little frown form between Cas' brows. _Wonder if he's dreaming. Do angels dream?_

Cas struggled, his grace destroying what seemed to be legions of demons, but they kept coming. He saw Crowley on a throne made of human skulls, commanding the demons to seize him. Cas fought with his angel blade and he managed to kill hundreds, but they kept coming!

Finally, he was overwhelmed and chains of fire were placed on his wrists. He was dragged before Crowley, whose features were vile and evil and elongated as if his face was made of wax and it was melting in the toxic inferno of Hell. Demons fawned at his feet. Crowley gestured to two very large demons with red slits for eyes.

"Let's pick our little chicken clean," Crowley said.

Castiel screamed in outrage when his wings were seized and spread to their full length. He screamed again and again as each feather was torn out. Blood pooled beneath his feet, but he could not escape the torture. He watched Crowley come over, holding a very sharp, sinister looking instrument.

"No flying out of here for you, halo boy." With one cleaving motion, Crowley wielded the instrument. Castiel fell to his knees, his whole body seizing in agony as he watched one of his wings fall to the sizzling ground. Blood spurted from his back. His other wing was lopped off and Castiel cried out to Heaven to deliver him. Just as he was about to pass out, he heard Crowley laughing.

"Cas! **CAS**!"

Hands patted Cas' face and his eyes flew open. They were wild and filled with unimaginable pain. He met Dean's confused, worried gaze, but he couldn't speak. He pushed Dean aside and leaped to his feet and spread his wings. He unfurled them, examining them, relief coursing through him. He turned to meet Dean's eyes.

"I'm fine, Dean."

"You must've had a nightmare, Cas. You cried out and looked like you were fighting something."

_Dean wants to know what I dreamed, but I can't tell him. It is what will happen to me. I can't let him know. When I don't come back, he'll think I returned to Heaven. He'll curse me and call me a "child" and I'll never feel his lips on mine again or feel his arms hold me. You're worth it, Dean._

"Cas, something's been bothering me." It was Dean's hunter instinct coming to the fore.

"What ?"

"How strong can Lilith be? I mean, we've got an archangel. Can't he out mojo her? Why can't I be healed?"

Cas examined the floor. There was a mark in the rug that looked like a burn. "I don't know."

"I wish you wouldn't go."

"I know."

"But you don't know why. Cas, something's up with you!" Dean had bridged the small gap between them and his nose nudged Cas'. "You're holding out on me."

Cas jerked his head back and glared at Dean. Now he got it about the personal space thing. _I won't lie to him. _"I…must go."

"No! Dammit, Cas! Don't cut out on me because you don't want to answer the damn question!"

"I don't wish to fight with you, Dean."

"Just… Aw, damn." Dean took Cas in his arms and kissed him and, if Cas expected a repeat of the other kiss, this was nothing like it.

Dean kissed Cas, and this time he knew it was borne of desperation and desire. He crushed Cas' lips and penetrated his mouth with his tongue.

_Boundaries! _That friggin' little voice.

_Screw boundaries! I'll kiss the truth out of you, Cas!_

Cas struggled briefly and then he seemed to follow Dean's lead.

_He doesn't know how to kiss! He's a damn virgin!_

Cas tongue met Dean's shyly. His eyes were wide open.

_Just go with it, Cas._

_What are you doing to me, Dean? Why is this so pleasant? Isn't it unsanitary? Oh, but I don't care! Your tongue is hot and it's flicking over my teeth and dueling with mine._

Dean stopped and Cas couldn't read the expression on the hunter's face. He glanced down pointedly and then he smirked as if he knew something Cas didn't.

"Dean…"

"Shut up, Cas. Just shut up for now."

"Yes."

Dean silently rejoiced as he kissed Cas. _So the angel could be aroused. He'd looked down and seen the evidence. _

_Don't stop kissing me, Dean. This will have to last me for eternity. I…want to give you everything._

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

A/N I KNOW! It's been days since I last posted. School doesn't stop for the fanfic author. Oh, disclaimer: I don't own SPN or the song. This was a tough chapter because I couldn't include any fun smooching or Cas and Dean getting closer, but the evil Muse told me I have to advance the plot along. I want to thank all of you who review, all of you for your faves and alerts and all those people who stop by. Cyber pie—cherry! Thanks for the interest in this story and the way it feeds my inspiration. I have to plug my sister's art. See her contest entry on deviant art dot com under jagespages. She did 14 pieces of art and made a graphic/story board. The theme for the contest is pick a location, monster and weapon. The name of her episode is "Stakes on a Plane". Don't you love the title? She keeps telling me to stop doing this, but, hey, I support my sister. She's _my_ Dean!

CHAPTER 9:

"Spread Your Wings"

So hard all alone  
>Fightin' thru the pain<br>Some day you'll stand up  
>Strong and unafraid<br>And then you'll see the sun  
>Right behind the rain<br>Spread your wings 

Dean had confiscated Sam's iPod. He listened to the song by Crimson Glory and grimaced at the ceiling. It had more cracks than his psyche. He turned over and half hung over the side of the bed. He checked, and, sure enough, there were angel sigils painted in white on the floor. He took inventory from bed. Rock salt formed barriers on the window sills. A devil's trap was right in front of the door. He sighed at all the luxury surrounding him. All that was missing was ugly wallpaper.

He climbed out of bed and it disturbed him how weak he was. He dragged himself to the window and looked out at a bleak scene. It was snowing, the wind catching the heavy flakes and swirling them in icy eddies across the frozen yard, catching the gate to what had once been a white picket fence and banging it against a snow drift. The capricious wind gathered the snow and flung it in gleeful abandonment against Dean's window. He leaned an elbow on the sill and sighed in frustration. He was going stir-crazy being cooped up for so long.

_Cas has only been gone half a day, and I've got one foot in the grave. Maybe it would be better that way, for everyone. I can't keep putting Sammy and Bobby through this. I can't tie Cas to me when he needs to be out there finding Lilith. I see it in Sam's eyes. He's itching to hunt her. But, to do that, he thinks he needs the strength he gets from drinking demon blood. That ain't gonna happen, little bro!_

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Bobby asked in his sour, _I've been at the books all night_ voice. "Brought ya breakfast." He set the tray down on the nightstand. His eyes widened.

Dean decided to make light of it. "Yeah, I know. I look like I was rode all night and put away wet."

Bobby took hold of Dean's arm and pulled him back to the bed. "Git back in bed, Dean, and I won't abide any arguments."

"All I do is lay in bed," Dean argued, but both of them knew it was only token. Dean really wasn't feeling well and it showed.

"Your lungs seizing up?" Bobby picked up the fork on the plate and scooped up some eggs and held it in midair indecisively.

Dean eyed the fork dubiously and shook his head as an answer. "Uh-uh. No way are you gonna start feeding me by hand! I'm not an infant."

"Naw, you're gonna eat it on your own," Bobby muttered, but Dean saw the toll what nursing him through this was having on his father figure. Bobby looked a little worse for wear on good days. Now he looked unshaven, his eyes were rimmed with red and he wouldn't meet Dean's gaze. "Eat," he added gruffly.

"You didn't have to go to…"

Bobby flung the fork back on the plate as if it burned his fingers and his eyes became inflamed. "What? To all the trouble? Hell, it's the least I can do for ya, boy! Hell, it's the _only_ thing I can do." Bobby walked over to the window and twitched the curtain on the rod back and forth a few times. "Dammit, Dean, I've run outta options."

"No luck finding Lilith."

"Cas say anything to you about a lead?"

"Yeah, that he had one. Cas is playing it close these days." Dean saw black squiggles swim before his eyes and Bobby's voice seemed to come from under water. _Not good. I'm getting worse. _

Bobby gave the curtain a final, irritated jerk and whirled on Dean. "If your angel has something, he should share it with us. Sammy and I want to be in on taking down Lilith."

Dean sat up and fought down a cough. _Cas knows something he isn't telling me either, Bobby. _"Not that he told me," he said finally, with a huff of frustration.

Gabriel sauntered in, followed by Sam, who was yawning so wide he looked like he could swallow the Earth. Sam sank down in the chair near the window and stared at nothing. Gabriel seemed less chatty than usual, and his expression was grim.

"I have bad news and worse news."

Dean's heart lurched in his chest. He swallowed the sudden lump that formed in his throat. "Cas?"

"Bingo!" Gabriel threw his hands in the air dramatically. "Ding, ding, ding, ding , ding! Cas has sold himself down the River Styx, so Crowley, who is…" He paused for dramatic effect. "Drum roll, please!" Everyone human was startled when there actually was one. Gabriel waited for it to stop, then announced. "Can you say, Satan?" he asked in his best Dana Carvey from _Saturday Night Live_ imitation. When nobody reacted, the archangel looked mock-dejected. "Oh, come on, people! I just gave you a boon. Originally, who did we think put the spell on the dagger that poisoned Dean-O? Eh-hhhhhh!" He imitated a game show buzzer. "Time's up!" Gabriel put his hands to his head and made horns with his fingers. " _Satan_. Cas meets with Crowley, who tells him no, Satan's taking a sabbatical from Hell and it was _Lilith_ who did the dirty deed." Gabriel waved his hands. "Wrong!"

Dean felt the fluid mass in his lungs and he could barely concentrate, but one thing did break through: Cas was in trouble! "You gotta take me to Cas," he gasped.

"Oh, Mr. Noble Good Intentions has sealed his fate. He made a deal with Satan." Gabriel didn't seem too concerned and it infuriated Dean.

"How'd you find out about this?" He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

Gabriel narrowed his right back, matching Dean's glower. "I was there." He rolled his eyes. "All right, I suppose I do owe you some kind of explanation." He snapped his fingers and a chalkboard appeared with stick figures drawn on it. One had wings, hair and tie askew, and wore a trench coat. Dean knew it depicted Cas. Another had a horn: Gabriel. Another was all red, had horns and a pitchfork and leathery wings: Crowley aka Satan. Resembling a coach planning the plays for his football team, Gabriel produced a laser pointer out of thin air and tapped the board.

"You let Cas make a deal with the Devil, you dick?" Dean thundered, punctuating the words with coughs. "How could you do that? You're supposed to be his brother!"

Gabriel's eyes caught fire and he walked over to Dean and raised a finger. "Do you know how you got that dent in your top lip? Way back, before you were born, I told you a secret, then I put my finger there and I said 'Shhhhh!'" He pressed his finger against Dean's lips. "Shhhhh!" He rolled his eyes drolly. "Do you kiss Cas with that mouth?"

Dean fell back, stunned. He felt his entire body blush as everyone's eyes fell on him.

Gabriel turned back to the board, clearing his throat to draw their attention back to him. He tapped his chin. "Where was I?" He used the laser pointer. "See Cas meet with Crowley, who he doesn't know is Satan, the demon he was hunting. See Cas fall for Mr. C's trick. See Gabe meet with Mr. C and …" Gabriel made quotations in the air, "_agree_ to help. See Cas SWAK Crowley to get Lilith's location and save his precious Dean."

Dean started to protest when he saw the figure for him had weird hair and was bow-legged, but talking might provoke another coughing spell, and he was still freaked out by what Gabriel had just said.

Sam came over, bent down and whispered in his brother's ear. "Dude, relax. It's a line from the movie _Prophecy_. The one with Christopher Walken as Gabriel. He didn't actually do that."

Dean felt his shoulders slump in relief.

Sam hit the nail on the head. "But, even if he kills Lilith, it won't save Dean?"

"Give tall, dark and gangly a prize!" Gabriel smiled. "The prob here is, we have to get Crowley to reverse the spell."

"Why did Crowley put Dean on the hit list?" Sam was wearing his questioning face.

"When Castiel pulled Dean out of Perdition, obeying Michael's orders, it caused a shift in power," Gabriel explained. "Lucifer was furious with Crowley for allowing it to happen and demoted him." He shrugged. "So Crowley says anyway. I take what he says with a big bag of rock salt."

"You were there. Why didn't you gank Crowley and end this?" Dean looked for something to punch. He settled on turning to the window and slamming the palm of one hand against the jamb. "Dammit!" He turned when it wasn't enough to vent his anger and shook a fist at Gabriel. "Why are you letting this happen to Cas?"

There was the sound of thunder, and lightning flashed. Pieces of furniture shook and the glass in the windows rattled. "Why am I _letting_ this happen to Cas?" Gabriel repeated incredulously. "This goes way beyond my aegis."

"Well, who's the dick angel in charge? Michael?"

"You want to confront him?" Gabriel invited with a sadistic tone. "Be my guest. Oh, but you can't, can you? Something about being his meat suit of this millennium."

Dean wanted to shout to the rafters; he wanted to roar expletives until the angels blushed; and he wanted… Suddenly, he couldn't breathe. He fell to his knees, gasping, pawing at the air.

Gabriel and Balthazar, who had kept quiet as Gabriel issued a rant worthy of Dennis Miller, exchanged a look. At a nod from the archangel, Balthazar said, "On the count of three."

"One…"

"Two…"

"Three!" On each count the angels raised one hand in a fist and swung it down on the count, striking their other fist.

On three, Balthazar held out two extended, separated fingers while Gabriel's hand was a fist. "Rock breaks scissors!" Fanfare calls and confetti filled the air at a snap of Gabriel's fingers. "I win!" He turned to face Dean. "I get to suck face with Dean." He winked at Sam. "Don't get all jealous now, Sambo."

Dean struggled to stand. Bobby and Sam were on each side, gripping him under the arms. Dean saw Sam react to Gabe's taunt.

"Tall, blond and permanent pain in my ass," Gabriel said, like a kind adult scolding a fractious kid. "Once I kiss you, it won't be easy to go back to Castiel." He forced Dean's lips to pucker and laid a scorching kiss on the hunter. He was shorter, but still managed to bend the six foot hunter backwards, arms flailing, legs floundering. Finally, when Dean began to breathe normally again, Gabriel let him fall to the floor and stepped away, a big grin plastered on his face.

Dean stayed where he was, glaring up at the archangel. "Was that really necessary?" he asked, in full voice again.

"To keep you alive? Actually, Dean-Oh, all I had to do was that." He smirked and pantomimed snapping his fingers. "But why should Castiel have all the fun?" With that, he turned and left the room, followed by a laughing Balthazar.

Sam smothered a laugh behind his hand and then he came over and helped Dean to his feet. "Dude, are you all right?"

"Hell, no, I'm not! The Trickster just tried to remove my tonsils with his tongue!"

Sam kept his hand in front of his face and gazed at his irate brother over the tops of his knuckles. Besides that, how are you feeling?"

"Better, Dean admitted.

Sam tried to hold in a chuckle, but it escaped anyway. He moved his hands in a placating gesture, but Dean failed to react. Sam gazed around the room and Dean realized his brother was probably feeling as cooped up as he was. "Sam, I…" He stopped when Sam slashed a hand through the air and his features tightened, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw quivered.

"We're not going down that road, Dean!" Sam scuffed his clunky boots on the wooden floor as he paced. "I'm not losing you again!" Sam ran his fingers through his hair. "No friggin' way! I don't care if it's Lilith or Crowley I have to stop, I'm finding a way to beat this for you!"

"Sammy…"

Sam stopped pacing. Sometimes he made Dean feel so small when he towered over him like this, menace smoking off his six foot four frame, quivering with barely suppressed rage. Dean didn't know what to do when Sam got like this.

_I'm the one who's supposed to be protecting you._

"I…can't do this right now," Sam told him and left the room.

Dean didn't go after him. He took the chair by the window and stared out at the snow. It looked like it was letting up. Bobby came in and put some firewood in the fireplace. He briskly rubbed his hands after he stoked the fire.

"Warm enough for ya?" Bobby asked.

"Toasty," Dean assured him.

"I'm going to the general store that's about two miles south of here. Gotta stock up on some provisions."

"Wish I could go with you." Dean sighed. "Looks like the weather's clearing."

"Good. I hate driving in snow." Bobby jammed his baseball cap on his head. "You need anything, holler for Sam. Got it?"

Dean nodded. "Got it."

"Good. See ya in a few. I'll see if I can find some pie for ya."

Dean rubbed his belly like he had when he was a kid. "Yum. Pie."

Bobby's laughter sounded hollow as he left the room. Dean watched out the window, seeing Bobby cross to a beat-up pick-up and pull out of the driveway, past snow banks, until he was lost from sight. Dean put on socks and boots and crept down the stairs to the kitchen. He found his leather jacket hanging on a peg in the mudroom adjacent to the kitchen and put it on, patting the pocket, finding the keys to his baby.

He heard voices and they drew him like a magnet to what looked like a study. Dean flattened himself beside the entrance and listened.

OOO

"So, don't you think it's about time you told _me _the truth?"

Dean identified the speaker as Balthazar.

"It's not up to me. All this is because a much higher power wants things to play out to the end."

_That damn dick Gabriel!_

"When Dean Winchester dies?"

"Oh, puh-leeze! Do you really think Michael will let his vessel wither and die?"

"I don't know, but you seem to know a lot more than I do about what's really going on. Is this one of your machinations?"

"I gave that up when I became Gabriel again."

"Who is orchestrating this?"

"Just know, that we can't interfere. Not to save Dean-O or even Castiel."

_Dicks!_

Fuming, Dean sneaked away and returned to the kitchen. This was his opportunity. If nobody else was going to help Cas, he sure as hell was!

He grabbed the hoodie hanging on another peg in the mudroom. It was two sizes too large for him, but it fit over his jacket and he could pull the hood over his head. He opened the back door and paused, guilt stabbing into him. Sam and Bobby would freak! He hunted up a scrap piece of paper and scribbled a note and pinned it on the refrigerator with one of the magnets stuck on its door. He trudged through the snow. It looked like somebody had been out there clearing off the path. He pushed up the garage door and entered the garage and opened the driver's side of the Impala, after giving his baby a well-deserved pat.

"I apologize for the dirty snow and ice, baby," he said as he started the engine and pulled the car out of the garage. He waited until he was out of sight of the house before he pulled over and stopped and fished out his cell phone.

"Cas, I found out about the deal you made with Crowley. You haul your ass back here, you hear me? What the hell, Cas? You save me from perdition as you call it and then you're going to do it a second time? No friggin' way! Do you know what kind of torture they'd do to an angel? It's not happening?"

The beep sounded and he called again. "Cas, why aren't you answering the damn phone? I took off from the safe house. It takes about half a day before I get real sick. Gabriel and Balthazar won't be able to find me, thanks to the Enochian you carved on my ribs. I'm going to find a motel and, when I do, I'll call you." His voice was close to breaking. "And , you better come to me, Cas! Because, if you don't I'll die." He choked on the lump in his throat. "If I have to die to get to where you are, Cas, I will." He cleared his throat and angrily swiped at the tears in his eyes. "You better not do this. If I mean as much to you as I think…as I _hope_ I do, you better not do this. I won't let you do this! I'll die before I let you do this!"

_Beep!_

Dean hit redial. There was no answer.

"Castiel, full of grace. Get back here before I kick your ass!_" _

OOO

Sam didn't see Dean's note as he passed the refrigerator. He pulled the hood of the jacket he had on up over his head and stuffed his hands in his pocket. He hiked quickly, casting glances over his shoulder, afraid Bobby would return, or worse, Dean would catch him. Dean just had to understand it was Sam's turn to look after Dean.

He placed a call. "Ruby, it's me. We need to meet." Sam had made it to the main road and thumbed a ride with a rancher who even was kind enough to let him sit up front, giving his long legs the room they needed for a comfortable ride. "I'm headed to the nearest town. When I get there, I'll take a bus." He grimaced. "Ruby, I know it's been a long time, but I need to grow strong. You heard any demon scuttlebutt about Dean?" He cocked his head and placed the cell even closer to his ear so the driver couldn't hear. "Yeah, well, most of that's true. Lilith or Crowley, whichever I need to, uh, take care of once I get strong."

Sam hung up and found the driver's gaze on him. "Sorry, but it's a little cramped in here. You a doctor, son?"

Sam hiked his eyebrows. "Uh, vet. Lilith and Crowley are dogs I may have to euthanize."

"Had me a dog once. He tore up everything in the house. I wanted to shoot him, but I loved him, the rascal. That was his name. Rascal."

"Uh, cute name."

"Must be tough on the people as well as the pets."

"Not pleasant for the vet either," Sam muttered, wishing he'd come up with another profession.

"Don't suppose it is."

Sam was grateful when the conversation died and the driver turned up the heater.

_I know you'll be mad as hell at me, Dean, but I have to do this. I can't lose you again. I can't!_

TBC… 


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N It's 4:04 AM Thursday and I am 17 years old! To celebrate, I am posting another chapter. I still don't own SPN or the song "Angel of the Morning" which my mom played for me. Yes, she knows what I'm writing. That's why it stays PG, heh! Thanks to you who review, for the faves and alerts and the ones who just stop by. Makes yourselves known. I won't bite! Cyber pie. Mom made me a cherry pie for my B-Day instead of cake. My big sis gave me a really cool watercolor portrait of Cas. She's promised to make me one of Dean lying in bed with Cas standing over him. Anyway, enough about me! Enjoy the chapter.**

The Winds of Change

CHAPTER 10:

"Just call me Angel of the Morning"

Dean hadn't driven in snow for awhile. Rain he was used to, but the ice hiding under the blanket of snow, kept making the Impala skid. Luckily, the roads were pretty much deserted, which only told him he was the only one stupid enough to be driving in it. The snow had picked up now and pelted the windshield with huge flakes that seemed to have super glue attached to them because the windshield wipers weren't able to dislodge them. Although he didn't need it, Dean blasted the heater and turned on the radio. In his haste to leave the house undetected, he'd forgotten to get his tapes, so he had to rely on FM. Only, all he found was static as he searched for a station. He smiled grimly. Or maybe no DJ in his or her right minds would drive to any station in this. He was about to give up when a song filtered through. He found himself singing along.

Maybe the sun's light will be dim  
>It won't matter anyhow<br>If morning's echo says we've sinned  
>Well, it was what I wanted now<br>And if we're victims of the night I  
>won't be blinded by the light<p>

Just call me angel of the morning, angel  
>Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby<br>Just call me angel of the morning, angel  
>Then slowly turn away from me…<p>

"How the hell do I know these lyrics?" he asked aloud. "What's with all the friggin' angel songs?"

Dean squinted through the barrage of snow as he passed a sign that said _**Welcome to Benkleman, NE.**_

"So, that's where I am," he mused, hoping soon he'd find a motel since the snow was starting to come down even heavier.

He was relieved when he entered the town limits. He rubbed his eyes at a jaw-dropping sight and slowed his speed even more. Under a shelter that protected it, was a carousel. There were security lights and Dean could see it had awesome horses and animals like the old-timers used to have before plastic came into vogue. Dean had to fight the urge to pull over and walk onto the platform. The beautiful, wild horses called to him, but he shook his head and drove past.

"Am I actually seeing cowboy hats?" he remarked as he spotted a couple of guys duck inside a restaurant.

His stomach growled and he realized it had been a long time since he'd eaten. Time to remedy that, he decided as he parked his baby in a spot clear of other vehicles. He got out of the car and opened the trunk, tucking his favorite gun,the nickel-plated Colt 1911 A1 .45 caliber semi-automatic, into his waistband. He had checked the mag−full clip−and made sure the safety was secure first.

Something snorted and Dean whirled, hand flashing toward the gun, but he never drew it. Instead, he stood there in the snow-laden street and stared at the horse as intelligent, liquid brown eyes stared back. The horse whickered and snorted, its breath pluming, rising toward the white splash on its muzzle. Dean closed in and scrutinized the mark. He didn't have to stretch his imagination to see the white resembled an angel.

He reached up fearlessly to stroke the horse's soft muzzle. "They leave you out here in this," he said softly. "Who's the bad owner, huh?" he crooned as he ran his hand down the strong neck to the shoulder.

"I'm afraid I am."

Dean was glad he'd put away his gun. He turned to regard the woman who looked like she was wearing one of the snow suits with the furry hood from _The Empire Strikes Back_. He couldn't see much of her face because she was bundled up, with a scarf obscuring the lower half of her face, but she had nice eyes that put him at ease and the affection they held as they switched to the horse, made him relax even more.

"Angel loves the snow, and we live on a ranch only a few miles away." She stuck out her glove-covered hand. "Cally."

"Dean." He shook her hand. "That's an unusual mark on him." It was a fifty-fifty guess on his part.

"Yeah, he got caught in some barbed wire when he was a colt." She saw his horrified look. "Not on our ranch! Fella who owned him before us. When the wound healed he had a scar that looks like an angel." She pointed. "Even to the halo."

Dean cut his eyes heavenward. "What would be the odds?"

"You look like you could use some grub, Dean." She took his arm. "I know just the place."

Cally took him to Beth's Bar and Grill just around the corner. She patted his cheek. "I have to go rescue Angel from the snow. You'll like this place."

Dean watched her leave and chose a stool on the bar. He glanced around the place. Typical rural restaurant with a homey touch some of them lacked. A tired looking redhead approached holding a coffee pot.

"Coffee?" The voice reminded him on Ellen Harville and he sighed.

"Sure." She poured him a cup and handed him a menu. "Uh, what's good?"

"New in town," she said and smiled. "We have the best bacon cheeseburgers bar-none and cheese fries to die for." Her smile widened. "And Missy makes the best desserts! Her cherry pie is killer."

"I'll have all that," he said giving her his lady-killer grin.

He ate the meal hurriedly, interrupting the bites as he called Cas again. Time was important, but he couldn't help his angel if Cas didn't return his calls.

Even though the food was good, it tasted like ashes in his mouth, except the pie. That was exquisite and, before he paid, he ordered another piece to go. Back outside, he found the snow had stopped. It hadn't been all that cold while it was snowing, but now, the cold seeped into his bones and turned his toes into ice chips.

"Hey, Dean!"

He looked up in surprise. Cally was riding Angel and pulled up next to him.

"Hey, Cally. You, uh…" Smooth-talker Dean Winchester suddenly found he was tongue-tied.

"You moving on or staying? If you're staying, hop on. Angel and I'll drop you off at a good motel."

Dean looked dubious. He'd never ridden a real horse. They were magnificent creatures, but, damn, they were big! Cally laughed and guided Angel to the porch of one of the closed businesses. "That should make it easier. Climb aboard."

Dean wasn't used to such kindness from a stranger. He was suspicious by nature, by profession, and Cally trusting him like this, touch a chord in him, although at the same time, he felt like he should scold her for putting herself in a place of imminent danger. He let the scalding lecture stay in his head and was able to get a leg up on the horse. Cally hauled him up the rest of the way.

"Better hold onto my waist," she said as she gently nudged Angel with her heels.

The horse didn't have a saddle, but Cally kept him at a sedate walk. Dean appreciated it because the ground looked far away and he didn't want to find out how far by falling off the horse. That would be damn embarrassing.

Angel stopped in the parking lot of a motel three blocks away. "Vacancy," Cally said.

Dean managed to dismount without appearing to be too much of a tenderfoot as she laughingly called him. He gazed up at her and smiled. She smiled back and turned Angel away, this time giving the horse his head. Dean waited until she was gone before he checked in with the clerk. He'd paid cash for everything so he couldn't be tracked by Bobby and Sam, by his false IDs and activity on the stolen credit cards.

The room wasn't as bad as most of the seedy motels he and Sammy had stayed in. It was minus the hideous wallpaper and wall divider, but it did have a deer's head on one wall.

"Great, I get to share the room with Bambi," he muttered, dumping the hoody and jacket on the bed.

He turned on the TV. It had cable and he switched to his favorite porn station, but turned it off after a few minutes.

"Dammit, Cas! Where are you?" He called and left another voicemail. He put the hoody and jacket back on and left the room, trudging back to his car. He'd expected his baby to be covered in snow, but he'd parked under a huge pine tree that had shielded the Impala.

"You're forcing me to do something I don't want to do," he muttered as he pulled up to his destination.

OOO

Castiel was in trouble. He'd returned to where he was supposed to meet Crowley and get Lilith's location. Instead of the demon, he found Michael waiting for him. Michael was wearing his armor and he looked angry.

Castiel tilted his head. "Brother."

"I can't let you do this, Castiel." The skies above Michael darkened and lightning flashed in bright forks across the clouds.

"I must save Dean."

"Where is he?" Michael had borrowed a vessel, a young male with long dark hair that he now swept from blue eyes so light they appeared gray.

"Safe. I'll never tell you where he is."

"But there is a way for me to find him." Michael chided. "Humans and their devices," he added, shaking his head. "I believe you carry one."

Before Castiel could disparate, he was seized by the arms. He stared in shock at the faces of the angels who held him. Balthazar and Gabriel. "You would betray me, brothers?"

"Not _betray_ you; _save _you," Gabriel corrected and his grip tightened when Castiel struggled.

Balthazar removed Castiel's angel blade. "Don't want you using that on us."

Michael patted Castiel down and fished out the cell phone. "You're going to call Dean and tell him you need to see him."

Castiel shook his head. "I won't."

Michael stared at the cell phone in his hand and then gave it to Gabriel. "I don't know how to use it," he confessed.

Gabriel played the messages and Cas winced and even blushed at some of the swear words. Gabriel deleted them and then he hit the send button to place a call to Dean.

"Cas, is that you?" Cas shivered at the emotion in Dean's voice.

Michael took the cell phone and spoke, sounding like Castiel. "Dean. You called."

"Like about a hundred times! Get your feathery ass over here."

"Where are you?"

Balthazar clapped a hand over Castiel's mouth when he attempted to warn Dean.

Dean gave his location and Michael handed the cell phone to Gabriel who ended the call.

"Bring him," Michael instructed the other angels. "As part of your punishment for acting against me and trying to prevent Dean Winchester's destiny, you will come and I will use you as leverage." Michael's eyes glowed with an unearthly light. "He _will _say yes to me."

Castiel was an angel and angels weren't supposed to feel, but Cas found that he was terrified at the thought of losing Dean. He struggled, throwing punches at his brothers, bashing Balthazar in the nose with his head, but they hung on. Michael touched two fingers to Castiel's forehead and when only the two of them reappeared, they were standing in a warehouse.

"Well, Cas, I see you aren't alone." Dean stepped forward out of the shadows, under a hanging light. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your new friend?" He stood, feet planted wide apart, lips canting into almost a sneer, arms crossed over his chest.

Castiel trembled. _Doesn't Dean realize how much danger he's in?_

"I am the archangel Michael."

_Did Michael expect Dean to show fear, even respect? I recall how he spoke to Uriel. I recall how he spoke to me before we became brothers and…more._

"You're wasting your time, you dick. I won't say yes."

"Not even to save Castiel?" Michael asked.

Castiel saw Dean flinch, but the hunter kept his jaw set, his gaze unwavering.

"Not even to spare Cas."

_He's sending me that look that tells me he doesn't mean what he just said. He's bluffing. Oh, Dean. Michael does not bluff._

Michael pulled his great sword from the scabbard on his back and stabbed Castiel in the back.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch!" Dean's eyes widened in horror as the point of the sword burst through Cas' chest. Arterial spray from Cas' vessel arced through the air and splattered Dean.

Dean rushed toward Castiel, but Michael ripped his sword free and brandished it. Cas fell to his knees. Blood dribbled from his mouth and his eyes were agonized as they sought out Dean.

"All right!" Dean shouted. "Heal Cas and I'll say yes."

"Say yes first and then I'll heal him."

Cas crawled across the floor toward his hunter. Michael placed a foot on Cas' back and forced him to the cold pavement. The archangel's eyes narrowed as he met Dean's appalled gaze. Cas' blood stained Dean's clothing. Crimson splotches were on his jeans and jacket.

"Dean, don't…" Cas moaned when Michael increased the pressure of his foot on Cas' back.

"Okay."

It was if the very air in the place grew heavy with that one word. Michael frowned. Cas moaned Dean's name. He was fading fast.

"You agree?" Michael asked, callously wiping the end of his sword off on Cas' jeans.

"Yes." Dean's green eyes caught fire. "YES!"

Michael smiled and took his foot off Cas' back. The angel crawled a little further toward Dean, who bent down and grabbed him by the biceps, pulling him into his arms.

"Say your good-byes," Michael told Dean. "I will heal him after I take you as my vessel."

"Of course you will, you dick."

Cas gazed up into the face of the man he knew he now loved beyond all else, committing every feature to memory, down to the last golden freckle. _You would give up your freedom, your life, for me, Dean. All I wanted to do was to save you, and I have failed._

He reached up with a faltering hand to touch Dean's cheek one last time.

"Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, your arrogance can always be counted on," Dean said in such a cocky, confident tone that Cas was shocked.

Dean dipped into his pocket and produced a lighter. With one try, he switched on the flame and tossed it to the ground. Flames burst from the cement and they followed the line of holy oil Dean had prepared, sealing Michael inside the circle.

Michael was furious, but there was nothing he could do. He was trapped. Dean gathered Cas to him, wrapped his arms around him and sprouted wings and flew away into the ether.

Cas drifted into unconsciousness and was unaware. When "Dean" landed, he carried Cas inside the motel room where the real Dean waited. The fake Dean's form shifted into none other than Gabriel.

"What the hell happened to Cas?" Dean bellowed.

Gabriel laid a hand on Cas' chest, cradling his brother lovingly as he healed him. Cas' eyes fluttered open. "G-Gabriel? But I thought…"

Gabriel grinned and let Dean take a very shaken angel to the bed where the hunter pushed Cas into a sitting position. "You and I had a safe word, Cas. When you called, I knew, even though it sounded like you, it wasn't."

"We don't have a safe word, Dean." Cas tilted his head, puzzled.

"I knew it wasn't you because you didn't sound worried enough," Den explained. "Anyway, I called Gabe and told him I had a plan to stop you from turning yourself over to Crowley and he told me Michael had you, so we worked together to trick Michael."

Castiel turned accusing eyes on Gabriel. "But you and Balthazar…"

"You need to keep up, bro." Gabriel walked over and patted Cas on the shoulder. "I've been like a double agent all this time. I made Crowley think I was working with him and Balthy and I had to let Mikey think we were on his side."

Dean smirked. "You owed me at least one for all those times you killed me."

Gabriel smirked back. "Sammy needed the lesson."

Dean's face dissolved into a mask of worry and guilt. "Sammy'll be freaking out. Bobby, too."

Gabriel shook his head and perched a hip on the chair. "Don't worry about your little bro." He laughed. "Little doesn't really apply to him, does it?"

Dean chuckled. He was so relieved that Cas was safe, his mood had vastly improved. He wanted to wring his angel's neck or kiss him senseless, but, to do that, they needed to be alone.

Gabriel gave a playful salute, snapped his fingers and was gone.

"Cas…" Dean began, but he found the steam in his voice, the anger, the fear, had changed into need. "C'mere."

Cas got up and walked over, stopping within Dean's personal space like he always did. Dean welcomed him into the inner circle of his arms, pulling the angel against him, molding his slender frame to his. Cas was shaking and his skin was icy. Dean sighed. His angel didn't even know how to take care of himself.

"Do me a favor, Cas. Raise your arms above your head like this." Dean demonstrated.

Cas looked curious, but did as Dean asked. Dean quickly removed the T-shirt and stared at Cas' bare chest. He pulled him to the bed and coached him to lie down. He removed his shoes, but left the jeans on. Dean crawled in beside him, pulling the covers over them, nuzzling against Cas's back, throwing a possessive arm over the angel's waist.

"Are you mad?"

Dean snorted into Cas' shoulder. "What do you think?"

"I think you are, but, for some reason, you're not being mean."

Dean trailed hot kisses along Cas' spine. "I almost lost you, Cas." His voice was rough.

"I just wanted to save you, Dean." Cas' tone was soft, plaintive, reminding the hunter of a small child.

Dean rose on an elbow and Cas turned to look at him at the same time. Dean's gaze incinerated the angel. His lips crashed down on Cas' mouth, invading it. The kiss lasted a long time and when Dean finally broke it, Cas was staring up at him, wonder in his eyes.

"I can't lose you, Cas. I'm not letting you hand yourself over to Crowley to save me."

"I…feel the same way, Dean." Cas ran a slender hand through his disheveled dark hair. "I…don't know what to do."

"How binding is the deal you made with Crowley?" Dean growled as he pulled Cas into his arms so that they were on their sides, foreheads pressed together. Cas' soft hair tickled Dean's nose.

Cas' deep voice rumbled into Dean's stomach and the ripped muscles of his abs jumped. "What applies to humans on Earth does not necessarily apply in Heaven."

That stopped Dean from further exploration because he had to look Cas in the eye. "You mean, there is no deal?"

"I intended to turn myself over to him." Cas slid a hand under Dean's T-shirt. "Do you like that, Dean?"

Dean thought he would hyperventilate at Cas' hesitant touch, but he didn't want his angel to distract him until he had the whole truth this time. "Uh…yeah, but…" _Hell yeah! Your hands on my skin turns me on!_

"Am I doing this correctly?"

Dean heaved a deep sigh. "For a beginner."

"Do you like it when I kiss you here?" Cas pulled up Dean's shirt and dropped a feather-light kiss on his bare chest.

"Cas…" Dean could barely speak.

"How about here?"

Dean's eyes widened.

"I want to please you, Dean."

"You do," Dean assured him and maneuvered Cas so he could snuggle against him. "You owe me the truth, but it can wait until morning. Now, I want you to close your eyes and I want your face to be the first thing I see when I open my eyes tomorrow."

"Yes, Dean." Cas sighed contentedly as Dean spooned him.

He didn't expect to, because angels didn't sleep, but he closed his eyes, reveling in Dean's closeness and drifted off, feeling safe and warm. Worry creased his brow as he slept, because, even asleep, the angel planned on saving Dean, no matter the cost to him.

TBC…


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING SPN OR THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG! THANK YOU ALL WHO TAKE THE TIME TO REVIEW. THANKS TO THE ALERTS AND FAVES AND THANKS TO THE ONES WHO JUST STOP BY. WELCOME ANY NEWBIES TO THIS STORY! I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT BUT THE MUSE SAID I MUST END IT HERE AND, SO, JUST IN TIME FOR VALENTINE'S DAY, HERE IT IS!**

Chapter 11:

"If I Could Be Your Angel"

If I could be your angel  
>Your angel, Your angel<br>Protect you from the pain  
>I'll keep you safe from danger<br>You'll never hurt again no more

Waking up with a guy in his bed, even his guy angel, even if it was Cas, well, Dean wasn't sure what to feel. On one hand it felt right because Cas transcended gender as far as the hunter was concerned. On the other hand, Dean had never done the deed with a guy, didn't consider himself gay, but, again, this was Cas, so what might happen at a later time... Waking up with a guy didn't change the morning phenomena of a certain part of his anatomy being wide awake. Dean shifted his position so that his erection didn't probe the warm body next to him. Cas sighed softly, reaching for Dean and Dean couldn't bring himself to move away.

"Dean." The gravelly voice was adorable when it was warm and drowsy, like the body cradled in Dean's arms. "Is it morning?"

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, sleepy-head. Angels don't sleep, eh? Well, buddy, you were sawing wood last night."

Cas opened his eyes and tilted his head, clearly puzzled. The blue eyes widened when Dean dropped a kiss on the tip of the angel's nose. "I don't understand," Cas confessed.

"You snored." At Cas' expression, Dean laughed. "It was kinda cute." He ruffled the angel's hair. "How you feeling?"

Cas didn't say anything, probably accessing his health, then he smiled shyly. "I've never slept like that."

Dean smiled. "Bet not."

Cas raised the sheet and his eyes widened even more. "Is that ordinary?"

Dean stole a look. He wasn't the only one feeling the morning. "Happens to guys in the morning. Don't worry about it." Deam smirked. "I'm gonna take a shower. You should take one, too."

Cas watched as the covers fell off Dean's buff body and he sauntered towards the adjoining bathroom. Cas' eyes roved over the curve of the hunter's buttocks, marveled at the strength of the muscles in his legs, the abs shadowing his skin, the bulge of his biceps. He saw his mark on Dean's shoulder. Even back then, he had wanted Dean to belong to him.

Cas waited until Dean disappeared into the bathroom before he got up and crossed the room. Dean was in the shower with his back to Cas. Fascinated, Cas watched the water cascade over the hunter. Dean's head was back and his eyes were closed. Hesitantly, because he was in completely new territory, Cas walked into the shower.

Dean turned and he shook his head in exasperation. "I didn't say take a shower with me, Cas, and you're supposed to be naked."

Cas pushed his pants and underwear down to his ankles. He saw Dean's eyes grow very large. He stepped out of the sodden clothing and just stood there, wondering what to do next.

"Geez." Dean was breathing hard. "Guess I need to teach ya," he added. Dean's voice was deep and rough. "C'mere." For some reason, Cas didn't mind Dean's bossiness.

"First, you need to learn how to wash your hair." Dean reached down and squirted shampoo into his hands and brought his hands up to Cas' head. Cas shivered. _Dean's_ _strong fingers are working their way through my hair, kneading my scalp, sliding down to my neck, to my shoulders, down my spine, massaging a soapy trail all the way down my back until his fingers curve into the soft flesh of my …Oh, Father!_

"Now, we rinse you off." Dean positioned them under the water so that the shampoo ran down Cas' chest, but they were so close, it also slithered over Dean's neck and shoulders as he kissed the angel until Cas moaned.

A shave-and-a-haircut knock sounded on the door and the two men broke apart. "Who is it?" Dean said, spluttering as water ran into his mouth.

"Gabriel. We have a problem."

Dean muttered curse words that made his angel flinch. He stepped out of the shower and pulled a towel about his waist. He put a finger to Cas' lips. "Sh-hhhhh. Stay here."

Dean left the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Gabriel stood near the very rumpled looking bed, head cocked to the side, brows arched. "I see Castiel stayed the night." Gabriel treated Dean to a wink.

"This better be good," Dean growled.

Gabriel looked dire. "No, it's bad. Sammy blew the coop. Bobby doesn't know where he is and he found your note on the fridge, so the man's ballistic."

"Sam…?" Dean swallowed down the huge lump that threatened to choke him. "Sam's gone?"

"Yeah, genius."

Fury rocketed through Dean. "He's gone to meet Ruby!" he snarled.

Gabriel looked pained. "When it comes to saving each other, neither one of you has a lick of common sense." He waved. "Hi, bro." The blond brows rose even higher. "Impressive," Gabriel said in his best Darth Vader voice. "Most impressive."

Dean turned and saw a very naked Castiel. He sighed, went into the bathroom and draped a towel around his angel's waist. "Get dressed," he told Cas. "Gabe, turn your back for a few minutes."

"Dean, my pants and underwear are wet. And my socks."

Dean rolled his eyes. He dug into his duffel. Luckily, he always kept a change of clothes and a clean pack of underwear. "Here," he told Cas after he opened the underwear and tossed him a black pair. "Put these on." Cas awkwardly pulled on the briefs. Dean handed him the jeans. They were too big for Cas since he was smaller, but Dean had some rope in the bag he used to run through the belt loops and tie around the angel's waist. He knelt and turned up the legs of the jeans to about two inch cuffs. He yanked his Metallica T-shirt over Cas' damp head, then fished out a pair of black socks. "Put those on.

"Done yet?" Gabriel had turned and was studying the wall, whistling a tune under his breath as Dean helped Cas and got himself dressed in record time.

Dean cleared his throat and Gabriel turned around. "You have any idea where Ruby would be?" the archangel queried.

Dean shook his head. "She could be anywhere. Ruby's a demon and they can travel like you angels. She'd just have to change vessels." Dean held up a finger. "There's a way to track Sam. GPS on his cell." He fished his cell phone out of his jacket. He made a call and smoozed the operator, giving a believable excuse that she bought and he soon had Sam's location.

Just then he received an incoming call. The readout told him it was from Sam. "Sam, you better get your ass back to the safe house! I have ta come after ya, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"If anybody gets an ass-whuppin', it's you, boy!"

"Bobby?" Dean checked the read-out again. "But, this is Sam's phone."

"Yeah, right where he left it with a scrawled note underneath it on the dresser. Want to know what it says?"

Dean began counting to ten. "What?"

"Fool me once, shame on you, Dean. Fool me twice, shame on me. I'm not taking my phone. I'll call you when I have a lead."

Bambi's head was ripped from the wall and thrown to the floor, but even that satisfying crash, could not soothe Dean's rage. "That stupid sonofabitch! He's gone to meet that skank Ruby and she'll get him hooked on demon blood again!"

There was the flutter of angel wings. Dean whipped around and saw he was missing one. His. Gabriel waggled his eyebrows.

"You left me that sorry-ass note on the fridge, ya dumbass!" Dean pulled the cell phone away from his ear. Bobby had switched to third gear and sounded like he was foaming at the mouth. Dean knew how he felt. If Cas had taken off on him again…

There was another flutter of wings and Cas appeared. He was wearing his coat, but had not traded the clothes Dean had given him for his suit.

"Dean, I know how worried you get about Sam." Cas looked calm. "I was supposed t o meet Crowley. I can summon him and we can end this and then there will be no need for Sam to sacrifice himself."

Dean was suspicious. "End it how? You plan on turning yourself over to him, because that ain't gonna fly, Cas!"

"He probably won't show up," Gabriel offered. "If it was me, I'd be wary of a trap."

"What about Michael? How long can the holy oil hold him?" Dean put on his jacket and tucked his gun into his waistband.

Gabriel rubbed his chin and looked pensive. "Michael is a powerful angel, but he won't be able to summon outside assistance. His call won't be heard in Heaven."

"What about Hell?"

"Michael has been quite vocal about what he thinks of demons and no demon will aid him, especially in the mood he's in right now." He shook his head. "Not even Crowley would dare confront him right now."

OOO

Michael was a supreme warrior and commander. His power was known throughout Heaven and on Earth. To be outmaneuvered by his brothers stoked the fires of his catastrophic rage. He knew it was Gabriel who had tricked him, stolen away his leverage to force Dean Winchester to say yes, but Michael had a back-up plan. Every angelic general had one because the war could depend on, say, one single human saying yes. No angel could thwart the rules. A human vessel could not be taken over without saying yes. Michael remembered his pride and lowered his head in contrition. _Pride _goeth _before a fall. _His pride, his arrogance, had made him fail in his quest.

_Doesn't Castiel know we are losing the war? The seals are being broken and the blood of our brothers and sisters is being spilt upon this bauble in space Father created. _

Michael kneeled and prayed to an absent father, not expecting and not getting any help. "Then, I will help myself!" he thundered in his true voice, although, even its power was held in the constraining circle. But one thing might penetrate the holy fire…

Michael hurled his sword up to the rafters of the building he was trapped in, watching as the blade forged in holy fire from Heaven split the roof asunder. Snow that had accumulated on the roof, fell onto the floor, but missed striking the circle. The sword fell outside the circle, too. Michael threw his head back and screamed in outrage.

Huge, wet flakes pelted his head and shoulders. The huge hole in the roof allowed snow to fall into the warehouse. It took time, but, finally the snow was deep enough to affect the flames in the circle. It was an ongoing event, snow fell, stuck, accumulated, melted, slithered toward the fire and the flames would gutter and almost die. The rivulets of icy water were small, almost insignificant, but spots of the fire were getting smaller, flickering as their adversary, water licked with icy tongues.

Michael watched in fascination, his shoulders slumped as he spread his wings, keeping them high. Snow landed on them and he felt the icy tingle through his feathers. He shook them, fluffing out the flight feathers, dumping the snow on the fire. He was rewarded when a part of the circle was extinguished. The circle was broken, as was its power to hold him. He rose toward the roof, keeping his wings close to his body, barreling through the opening, his joy at being free, overtaking his anger for an unspecific spec of time.

He dived through the hole, skimmed over the floor and scooped up his sword. "Dean Winchester will be mine," he declared, swinging his sword over his head. Lightning flashed and thunder roared. "So it is written in Heaven, so shall it be!"

OOO

Sam reached the address of the hotel Ruby had given him when he called her on his new burn phone. It had been a long trip. He'd discovered he was in Nebraska when he caught a ride to the nearest town that took him in the direction he needed to go to reach Iowa. Ruby had told him she'd borrow another body and meet him in Council Bluffs, right over the bridge from Omaha.

As he passed the state line, he glanced to his left in the Greyhound Bus he was travelling in and saw a cemetery. A particularly spectacular statue caught his eye. One of an angel with wings spread. It looked so lifelike, for a moment, he thought he'd been found. He heaved a relieved breath when he saw it was made of stone. It didn't take long for him to disembark at the Bus Station. A car horn beeped. He saw a Lincoln Town car approach and warily walked across the street where it had parked.

The driver window went down and he saw Ruby in her usual guise, long dark hair and dark eyes probing him through the driving snowstorm.

"Sam," she called.

He paused. Something icy skidded down his spine and it wasn't snow. "I thought you said you were going to borrow another body." He shuddered at the thought.

"I like this one." Ruby smiled. "_You_ like this one."

"Ruby, that part of our relationship's over. That's when I was messed up because Dean was gone."

"Get in. It looks cold out there."

Sam just had the essentials in a backpack. He unzipped the pocket and pulled the special demon-killing knife and slipped it into his jacket pocket. He opened the passenger door, stamped the snow off the soles of his boots before he swung his feet inside and then he closed the door. The amber lights of the dash flitted over Ruby's face as she turned to look at him.

"It's good to see you, Sam."

"'ello, Sam."

Sam was taken off guard by a voice coming from the backseat. Something struck him on the back of his head and Sam slumped forward. His last coherent thought was, _Dean's going to kill me._

TBC…


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N THANKS TO YOU WHO REVIEW, WHO FAVE AND ALERT AND STOP IN. I DON'T OWN SUPERNATURAL OR THE SONG "ANGELS CRY". THERE WILL BE ANOTHER CHAPTER UP SOON AS POSSIBLE. THIS FRIGGIN' ONE MADE ME CRY!**

The Winds of Change

Chapter 12:

"Angels Cry When Stars Collide"

Intentions that were pure have turned obscure.

Seconds into hours; minutes into years.

Don't ask me why

(Please don't cry)

I can't tell you lies…

Dean paced the length of the room and then back and then began all over again, working himself up into frenzy. "This is great," he thundered. "My stupid brother takes off on me and I don't even know where?" He whirled around and confronted the three angels. "Why are you still here? Spread your wings! FIND Sam!"

"Dean." Castiel dared to place his hand on the hunter's tense shoulder. "We have flown to the four corners of the world. Sam is hidden from us."

"Why'd you do it, Cas?" As usual, when he was upset, Dean needed someone to blame. "Why'd you have to put those damn sigils on our ribs?" Dean ripped away from the angel and ran his fingers through his hair. "He could be hurt! He could…"

"He could be drinking demon blood," Bobby stated what nobody in the room wanted to say.

Dean kicked the small trash can near the nightstand and it hit the wall, causing the others, except Castiel to react. Cas only stared at Dean, his expression unreadable.

"What? What?" Dean shouted. "It's my fault. I shoulda watched him better. I shouda…"

"NO!" Everyone's eyes opened in shock. The one who had shouted was Castiel. The angel grabbed Dean by the elbow and pulled him to the kitchen where they could be alone. "You're not to blame, Dean!"

"I'm his brother! It's my job to watch over him." Dean tried to pull away, but Cas tightened his grip.

"I know how strong your bond is, but you can't cast blame upon yourself. Sam chose to do this." Cas sighed. "I warned you about him."

Dean's anger switched to his absent brother. "He told me he wouldn't do it anymore. He promised me." Dean started to choke and would have fallen if Cas hadn't held onto him. "Can't….breathe…"

Cas kissed and kissed Dean to no avail. He drew back as the hunter collapsed on the floor. He was frantic and cried out in his true voice and his wings unveiled. Everything fragile disintegrated the kitchen table shattered, the stove and refrigerator shook. Lights blew out as Cas held Dean in his arms and begged him to open his eyes. Tears rained from his eyes and his features were frozen in a mask of fear and agony.

Gabriel and Balthazar hurried into the kitchen. The archangel placed his hand on Dean's forehead. Nothing happened. Cas' eyes were riveted on the hunter's chest, the shallow rise and fall, the intake of breath less and less, growing faint.

Balthazar took Dean's pulse and met Cas' agonized gaze with a sympathetic one. "He's dying, Castiel."

Cas's wings unfurled to their full height and length, sweeping everything off the kitchen counter. He shook his fists into the air. "No," he howled. "My life for his! Take me!" He crouched down and pulled Dean's unresponsive body into his arms, his wings sheltering the hunter.

Gabriel, for once, had nothing amusing or snarky to say. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he looked as helpless as Castiel felt.

"I won't let this happen!" Cas wailed. He gathered Dean close and winked into the ether, carrying his precious cargo as he soared, scaling to the highest heights. "I will save you, Dean, or die trying."

Winged harpies rose from the depths of their lairs beneath the clouds. Gargoyles attacked and Cas fought them with his grace and his angel blade. Some of them inflicted terrible, deep scratches on his arms, ripped through the denim of the jeans, tore his shirt to shreds. Blood streamed from the wounds, resembling a plane's fuel when there is a leak. Feathers were chewed on, sawed on by razor sharp teeth, but Castiel would not give up.

"Let me pass!" he said, using his true voice, sending the creatures crashing to the Earth miles below.

Finally, Castiel reached his destination. He touched down and gently laid Dean on the cold bare surface. He was not actually in a place, so much as a state. "Death!" he called out the Horseman's name with trepidation.

"You don't have to shout." The languid voice belonged to a man who was the epitome of a walking cadaver with cheekbones so sharp and gaunt, they seemed to cut through the skin. "Castiel, isn't it? And you bring Dean Winchester. His time is finally up." His smile was straight out of the macabre. "You did well to get past my beasties. I hope my guardians didn't ruffle your feathers too much."

"I want to trade my life for Dean's."

Death looked annoyed. "So simple you think? You are an angel, or has that escaped you?"

"Then, bind me to your service and I…will serve you for eternity if you spare him."

"Tempting." Death almost sang the word. "But, I must say no."

"Why? It isn't Dean's time yet!"

Death reached up and cupped Cas' cheek, staring deeply into his eyes. "No greater love hath mortal man than to lay down his life for another. I am paraphrasing a bit, but nowhere in there does it say no greater love hath immortal angel than to lay down his life for a human."

Cas gripped Death's hands. "Please," he pleaded. "Please save my Dean!"

"He's at my door; actually, as we speak, he has one foot over the threshold." Death sighed. "You angels have no sense of humor. None of you, except Lucifer and Raphael."

"I'm begging you!"

"There is a place I can keep him until you get this sorted out," Death said, tapping his bottom lip. "No payment will be necessary. The human has an important destiny."

"I am not saving him to give him to Michael as his vessel." Cas' eyes caught fire and he flung Death back on his heels.

"I am not asking you to." Death pointedly looked down at Dean who seemed to be gasping his last breath. "If I am to save him, I have to take him now."

Castiel knelt beside Dean and pressed his lips to Dean's cold mouth. "I'll think of something. I'll find Sam, too."

Dean's lips were turning blue. He reached up to touch Cas' cheek and his hand fell halfway there. Cas took it and pressed a kiss to the cold skin.

"I must take him now before he crosses over," Death said. He was now carrying his fearsome scythe and put a hand on Dean's arm. "You really are trouble," he told the hunter and the two of them disappeared.

Cas fell to his knees and sobbed. _This is what humans feel when they lose a loved one. This horrible emptiness, this anger, this sadness. There are no words to describe this feeling. Oh, Father, how can I go on without Dean?_

He touched the place where Dean had been. "We didn't even get to say good-bye."

Death reappeared, looking completely unruffled. Cas quickly rose and wiped away his tears with the back of the sleeve of his coat. "Where did you take him?"

"Limbo." Death made a weight of his hands, making the motions until his hands were even. "Somewhere between life and death."

"Then, he's safe. At last." Castiel's shoulders slumped in complete misery and exhaustion. His vessel had no more tears. Nor did it have a heart, because the last beat had ceased when Death took Dean.

"You're really taking this hard." Death circled Castiel, eyeing him with renewed interest. "Satan, aka Crowley, is behind this whole thing. I tire of his interference." He brushed a speck off his sleeve. "I have a schedule. This kind of thing throws it off and it makes my Reapers…" Death looked introspective. "Shall we say a bit uneasy?"

"Crowley's time will come."

"Lilth, alas, dear angel, is not to blame. Satan is not to blame, although he is the culprit."

"Who is to blame?" _I will find him or her and cut out their hearts! Wait…the Horseman had phrased his words oddly. _"What do you mean he's the culprit but not to blame?"

"An archangel can't heal a mere mortal? Why, _you_ should've been able to heal him." Death's face was cold like marble. "There has to be a reason. No demon except Lucifer has the power to thwart an angel's healing." Death shook a finger in the air. "And Lucifer, for now, is locked up in the cage." He shrugged. "Besides, it isn't something he would do. A code of honor, even among fallen angels. He would not bring harm to Michael's intended vessel and he would expect the same courtesy for his vessel."

"No more riddles!"

"I am trying to help you, but I can't tell you because it would get _me_ into trouble. Is that candid enough for you?"

"Then tell me a direction I should go."

"Crowley has Sam Winchester. He and Lucifer are not copacetic about his fate."

"Do you know where he is?"

"I wouldn't know, thanks to the Enochian sigils you carved on his ribs, but there is a way to find him."

"How?" Castiel rasped.

"If he gets close to death, his soul will call one of my Reapers to him; he or she will tell me and I will tell you. Simple."

"Do you have a binding spell for Satan?"

Death frowned. "I do have a summoning spell for the demon who calls herself Ruby. Would that help?"

Cas nodded. Death turned away and when he turned around, he held a papyrus. "Ancient. I hope you speak Sumerian." He arched a laconic brow.

Cas nodded again and extended his hand. Death tucked the papyrus into a tube carrier and handed it to the angel. "I'll call off my guardians so you can pass through the nether world safely. I have no wish to collect a soul early, although it has cheated me once−no, make that twice, thanks to John Winchester."

"I…thank you." Cas unfurled his wings and took off, sending his grief into a private sanctum in his mind. He had promised Dean he would find Sam and he would keep that promise.


	13. Chapter 13

The Winds of Change

Chapter 13:

"Falling Angel" by Duran Duran

Love is flawed now; see the lawless cry

Cut my cord now, better then; better off to die.

Here am I, your falling angel, dangled in the blue

I'm your angel and I wish that I could be like you.

_The grace of an angel inside a human vessel, like the wind, is invisible—you can feel it and see what it does. The wind is a force that makes leaves shimmer like sequins on swaying trees; that twirls scraps of garbage into tiny tornadoes, slinks through flags or snaps them to attention; or changes clouds into wisps or thunderous mountains._

_This gentle wind is like the trade winds of the Caribbean, and it is what an angel inside a human vessel feels. An angel's true power is more like fierce gales that shear against each other as they shift along with the latitude, setting up huge standing storms of fire and sulfur. The energy the angel is churns up the interstellar gas of stars, engaging in a fierce gravitational tug-of-war between the ever-present Dark and the Light. Because of this, to be the vessel of an angel is granted to only a chosen few. _

_It is an ether wind, so ephemeral it is impossible to perceive by those who are not sensitive. Clouds in the skies above the planets are the natural wind made visible. The angel can only be seen through the actions of its vessel. It has a balance, and that nebulous stability will end if Dean Winchester dies. For Castiel will leave his human form and become a true angel and his wrath will stand against all his enemies. The ground will shake and split asunder. He will enter Hell itself; he does not care what he has to face. Castiel, angel of Thursday, will save Dean._

Jimmy Novak did not understand what was happening to him. The energy Castiel sent out was an invisible filament, like electrically charged particles, swirling unpredictably-eddies in the galactic stream of consciousness. It was the same mesmeric energy that writhed within stars and interstellar clouds; the gravity that bound the galaxy together; the pull of invisible hands-the mystical magnetism that made up the compass of the universe, even on a small scale like within Jimmy. Castiel spoke to him across the chasm of empty space; and, deep within his gut, he felt a change beginning.

The energy in him that was Castiel was a single snowflake—beautiful with just the right amount of proportion—a snowflake that was beginning to melt into an indistinguishable puddle of water. And yet the cold that was rising in him, filling his veins with ice, was reforming the swollen drop of water the snowflake had been into a hoary crystal as Castiel left the boundaries of flesh.

"If I cannot save Dean, I will not return." Jimmy's eyes widen. He has only flashes in his memory of what has happened. He knows if it involves Dean Winchester, then it is beyond serious and Castiel will do what he has to and the angel has no limits when it comes to the hunter. Jimmy knows Castiel loves Dean above all else, perhaps even God. He bows his head as Castiel departs and he wishes him God speed.

OOO

Dean woke up and took a deep breath and then another and a third just to make sure the second wasn't a fluke. He was lying on the greenest grass he'd ever seen. It was a soft, fragrant carpet. He propped up on an elbow and gazed about him. A butterfly flitted from flower to flower. Dean knew roses and that was it. Good guess would be daisies. He sat up, curling his bare toes as his head went back and he moaned when warm sunbeams played over his body, frolicking little prisms dancing down his arms. Dean lay back in the grass and did some cloud busting.

He was content, ridiculously happy, although something niggled at the back of his mind, kind of like the bee that was buzzing near one of the flowers. The sound lulled him and Dean closed his eyes, his limbs languid, completely relaxed. He smiled for no reason other than he just felt so damn good. He yawned. He was a little tired, but, again that something nagged at him and he opened his eyes and stared with renewed interest at his surroundings, but this time he used his hunter's eyes.

"Something's not right," he muttered and leaped to his feet, looking for his boots but not finding them. "Where the hell am I?"  
>You're not in Hell this time, Dean."<p>

Dean froze. That voice! It sounded so familiar. He turned and saw a slender young woman with long, dark hair and brown eyes. He splayed his hands to ward her off. "Tessa!" he hissed. "Stay away from me! I'm not going anywhere with you!"

"Relax, Dean. I'm only visiting you. It can get lonely here and I…" She smiled with an exasperated fondness. "I always had a soft spot for you."

"Tessa, where am I?"

"Limbo." She stated it simply, but the nuance behind that one word gave Dean chills and the hairs on the back of his neck rose.

"Limbo," he repeated flatly. "Where are my boots?"

"You don't need them here."

Dean bent down and grabbed a handful of grass and flung it up into the air. "This," he snarled. "None of it's real!"

Tessa shrugged. "Look at it this way. At least you're not dead."

Dean blinked. "Has my memory been scrubbed or something?"

Tessa smiled. "You passed through the veil. Death has found memory can make time drag here even more. It's an act of kindness so humans won't mourn those left behind."

Dean frowned. "I…left someone behind?"

Tessa sighed. "I really shouldn't be talking to you, but I brought you a visitor. Because of your destiny you're afforded certain perks."

Tessa disappeared and her in place was a very startled man with cobalt eyes fringed by long dark lashes, a handsome, symmetrical face, the pale skin dusted with dark stubble and wavy, unruly dark hair that bordered on black. Dean gave a cry of joy.

"Cas!"

Dean enveloped the man in his arms, kissing him frantically, trying to seal his very soul onto those chapped pink lips. When he started divesting Cas of his clothing, the man finally managed to extract himself long enough to gasp, "I'm not Castiel!"

If a steamroller had run over him, Dean's mood could not have been more flattened. He backpedaled wildly, almost falling. He heaved like a horse coming out of the gate, his eyes wide.

"J-Jimmy Novak?"

"Guilty." Jimmy looked around him. "Nice little corner of Heaven you've got here, Dean."

"Sorry to disappoint you." _Sorry I just felt you up and my tongue tried to take out your tonsils while I'm at it! _"This is Limbo."

"Why am I here?" Jimmy placed emphasis on I.

Dean shrugged. "Beats the hell outta me."

"Castiel left me and put me _here_?" Jimmy jammed his hands into the pockets of his trench coat and laughed, close to hysteria. "Seriously? "

"I'm, uh…" Dean coughed behind his hand. "Sorry about…um…"

"I haven't been kissed like that since college." Jimmy said and chuckled.

"You said Cas left you? Where'd he go?"

Jimmy scratched an itchy spot on his temple and hiked his shoulders. He had none of Castiel's mannerisms and Dean felt his irritation rising with each passing second. "I only get flashes when he's in the driver's seat, but I can pretty much gauge his mood."

"And?" Dean persisted when Jimmy paused.

"He's pissed. I don't know who or what has acquired his wrath, but I pity them. I've never felt him so angry." Jimmy leveled a no-nonsense look at Dean. "I'll bet my pew in church you're involved!"

"Hey!" Dean resisted the urge to punch Jimmy. After all, it wasn't his fault. "Yeah, I am, but I don't know if I should tell you."

"Tell Castiel's meat puppet, no, why should you? It's not like I haven't devoted the last year to his service and had glimpses of what he's had in mind for you." Jimmy made a face and swiped a hand over his face and he glowered. "Does that angel never shave?"

For some reason, that struck Dean as funny and he broke up into gut-wrenching laughter. By his peeved look, Jimmy didn't find it all that funny, but Dean's laughter was so infectious, the man joined in after a long moment.

Soon the two of them were gasping for breath and Dean wheezed until he had to stop because his sides were starting to hurt. "You know, Dude, the stubble isn't a bad idea."

Jimmy snorted and wiped his streaming eyes. "My wife hated stubble." He sobered immediately. "Castiel could've dropped me back home while he flies off on the warpath."

Dean shook his head. "Naw, he couldn't. His intention was to keep you safe."

"Like sending you here?"

Dean was confused. "At first I couldn't remember anything, but then I saw you and…"

"Tried to jump my bones," Jimmy added cattily. Jimmy's chuckle was deep as Dean turned five shades of red. "I get flashes, glimpses. Castiel communicates to me sometimes, allows me to see."

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "I…uh…aw, damn." He spread his hands wide. "What can I say, dude?"

"You do know he doesn't have to kiss you to save you each time?" Jimmy's brows crept toward his hairline. "He marked you as his from the beginning. That mark on your shoulder was intended as a sign that you belong to him."

Dean frowned. "What mark?"

"Your brain really is scrambled." Jimmy walked over, rolled Dean's T-shirt sleeve up until the red mark burned into his skin could be seen. "His hand print. The beginning of your special bond." Jimmy gave him a cheeky smile. "You never stood a chance, Dean."

"What the hell?" Dean nervously nibbled his bottom lip as he craned his neck so he could get a look at the mark. "You…know?" His fingers traced the imprint and he felt his whole body flush with longing.

"About you and Castiel?" Jimmy gave Dean a look that told the hunter he knew way too much. "Kinda hard not to since you _are _using my body."

Dean huffed out a breath, hitched one back in, shuffled nervously from foot to foot, and then met Jimmy's blue, blue eyes with a challenge in his emerald green depths. "And how do you feel about it?"

"Like I'm committing a sin." Jimmy shrugged. "What can I say? I come from a religious background and you and Castiel seem to forget that I'm married." Jimmy seemed to sink into thought and then his expression cleared. "I chose this, Dean."

"Do me a favor. Don't call me Dean." Dean looked apologetic. "I mean in that tone."

"You mean use the voice that curls your toes."

"Ya know, Jimbo, you can be a real assbutt when you want to."

Jimmy grinned. He was such a reverse of Cas and Dean found that he missed his angel terribly.

"Cas is in real bad trouble this time, isn't he?"

Jimmy nodded. "I'm afraid he is."

The two men spent the next hour talking, reacquainting. "Sam must be going crazy without you," Jimmy said finally.

"Sam?" Dean inclined his head. "Sam who?"

"Winchester. Your baby brother. The one you sold your soul to bring back, that Sam."

Dean's brow furrowed deeply. "I…don't know what you're talking about. I…don't remember a Sam in my life. I remember Cas and I remember you for some reason."

"What about Bobby Singer?"

Dean shook his head and Jimmy looked concerned. "They mind-washed you when they brought you through the veil."

"Tessa mentioned something about that." Dean looked troubled. "I remember a damn Reaper, but I don't remember this Sam?"

"Your brother," Jimmy corrected.

"What did Sunday School teach you about Limbo?"

They were lying in the grass and Dean's mind wandered to a movie he'd seen once called The Fisher King where the two dudes lay in Central Park. Of course, neither he nor Jimmy was naked. _Think of something else, Dean!_

"In the theology of the Catholic Church, Limbo, limbus, edge or boundary, referred to the 'edge' of Hell. It's an unproven, speculative idea about the afterlife condition of those who die in original sin without being assigned to the Hell of the Damned."

"Well, thank you Encyclopedia Britannica," Dean said with a snarky grin.

"Bite me, Dean."

The two men exchanged a laugh and settled back into the grass. Jimmy knew why Dean was not allowed to remember Sam. Even though Jimmy hadn't been aware most of the time when Castiel possessed his body, he did know of the close connection of the Winchester brothers.

OOO

"Satan!" Castiel's true voice shattered the trees in the forest. Birds fell from the sky. Lightning streaked through a clear sky. "Come take me if you think you can!"

A great, fiery-colored dragon with seven heads and ten horns, bellowed flame, setting fire to the woods. Castiel had never seen such a beast, but he knew immediately who it was. This was not Dante's sad version of Satan. This was a truly frightening visage, but Castiel was not afraid. He was clad in armor that shone like the sun and was equipped with Michael's sword. Gabriel had appeared to him and given it to him before he went to face Crowley.

As the great beast drew near, Michael's sword burst into holy flame, igniting with such a glare that Satan veered off from his next pass.

Satan's claws tore at Castiel as the two clashed mid-air, but there was no flesh to tear. This was a battle of the spirit. This was as it had been in Heaven when Lucifer and his fallen angels had been defeated. Castiel had been there; he had fought beside Michael. At the time, he'd thought Lucifer's banishment was warranted. Now, he wasn't so sure, but he knew Lucifer could never be released from his cage.

The dragon roared in agony when Castiel plunged the flaming sword into his back. It spiraled out of control and dived, its fiery breath raking the tops of the trees, incinerating them. Castiel paused, holding his flight path, fierce eyes glaring down at the Earth. He didn't expect Satan to fight fair and was not surprised when flying demons surrounded him. Well, they tried, but Castiel moved through the ether and appeared outside of the circle. He slashed with the sword and smote them with his grace. Their smoking carcasses littered the ground.

Even an angel has limits and Castiel knew he was tiring. He knew this was what Satan was waiting for, and, sure enough, another wave of demons attacked. Castiel's grace suffered this time. He had no actually physical body, but he could feel his wings begin to tire and it was almost agonizing to wield Michael's sword.

Satan reappeared and Castiel lost track of some of the heads as they whipped about the lithe serpent-like body of the beast. Leathery wings with six foot long spiked horns at the ends displaced the air, causing a storm of great magnitude. Whenever the two combatants clashed, there was lightning and thunder. An atmospheric disturbance caused the clouds to form a vortex. Castiel and Satan in the guise of the dragon, fought for what seemed like centuries, but it was only hours if measured by the time of man.

They met in mid-air again, locked into a clench, neither one giving in as they struggled to destroy the other, rocketing to the Earth far below them. At the last possible moment, they broke apart. Castiel landed in a snow bank and did not move, dazed. Satan crashed into some trees a short distance away.

Castiel knew he should seize the moment, but his strength was at an end. He prepared to leave and was seized from behind. Two Seraphim held him between them while another angel wrenched Michael's sword from his hands and then two more stretched out Castiel's wings, extending them as far as they could go. Weighted chains with spikes attached were driven through his wings at, what in birds is the datylopatagium brevis and datylopatagium minus. The spikes went through the hollow bones and Castiel screamed in outrage, humiliation and pain.

Michael appeared in a blink of an eye. "You should not have kept my sword, brother. It led me to you." The archangel accepted the flaming sword and it returned to being metal at his touch.

"So, you will turn me over to Satan." Castiel pointedly did not say brother as he normally did. He bore down on the chains, dragging the other angels with him as he charged toward Michael. "I will not go easily!"

Only because he was so weary from his long fight, could Castiel be restrained.

"Nobody wants you." Satan walked into the clearing, back in his Crowley vessel, clearly vexed about the outcome of the battle. "The deal's off. I revoke it."

"Satan," Michael's tone was a warning, but Crowley waved a hand as if at a troublesome fly near his face.

"Dean will die," Castiel began.

"Dean Winchester will _not _die!" Michael's fury made the other angels cower in fear. He poked Castiel in the chest. "You will tell me where he is and he will fulfill his destiny."

"No. I. Won't. Brother."

"You will tell me or I will forge for you a prison so heinous you will beg for release!"

Castiel would not even raise his head. "No."

"Take him!" Michael ordered. "And you!" He gestured with his sword at Crowley. "Reverse the spell on Dean Winchester."

"Bit of a snag 'bout that, halo boy." Crowley smiled. "He seems to have disappeared from the face of the bloody planet!"

Castiel garnered sheer pleasure from the indescribable expression on Michael's face when Crowley delivered the news. Michael turned and regarded the chained angel suspiciously.

"You must know where he is. He's your special pet."

Castiel honestly did not know where Limbo was so he didn't have to lie. "I don't. If I did, I wouldn't tell you."

"Take him to one of my private chambers."

Crowley, unnoticed by the others, sidled up to Castiel and slipped him a small vial. "Antidote," he whispered. Castiel kept his expression guarded and he tucked the precious vial inside a hidden compartment in his armor. "Why?" Crowley cast a careful look around. Nobody was paying attention to him. "Because you won our fight. I've waited millennia for someone who could best me whose name doesn't begin with M and end with L. That was one hell of a fight."

"I…have a favor to ask."

"A favor?" Crowley preened. "Of little ole me?"

"You have Sam Winchester as your prisoner. I ask that you release him unharmed."

"Done. Anything else? Spit polish your armor while I'm at it?"

"Why would I want you to spit on my armor?" Castiel was truly puzzled.

Michael glanced over and frowned at the angels who were in charge of Castiel. "Take him home," he commanded.

Castiel looked once more at the pristine snow, wished that he was in his vessel so he could feel it. Oh, there was so much he wished he could do. Most of all, he wished he could hold Dean in his arms and kiss him until the hunter clung to him because he was breathless. He wished he could see Dean and hand him the antidote, to witness the joy on his handsome features. He wished they could be together as he'd planned from the beginning. He'd done everything for Dean. Each day in his prison, he would dwell on his hunter and the love they shared.

It's my time; all I have for my crime is such

Knowing that the thing I love is that which I can't touch.

So I will watch your fragile beauty changing in the sun…

Tbc…


End file.
